Thoughts On This Critical World We Live In

In a world so full of envy and hate, I've been wanting to post this for a while now.

I'm just going to throw this out there and say that people can be mean. Downright flipping mean.

There's not one incidence that has caused the writing of this post but it's just something I've thought about long and hard for a while now and, well hey, since this is my blog, I assume I can write about it.

The long of the short of it is...we live in a world that is so critical, so quick to judge, so tempted to be jealous rather than happy for other's fortunes and successes and it disgusts me.

Don't get me wrong. I've judged. I've been critical before. I've been envious over others. I'm no saint here so perhaps this is serving as a reminder to myself, too, but what I do know is that since losing my dad and facing many recent hardships in life, is that everyone is fighting their own battle.

Everyone.

The family who looks picture perfect, goes on lavish vacations twice a year and lives in a really beautiful home...they've got problems.

The stay-at-home mom whose kids look like angels, whose husband is "the breadwinner" and who drives really nice cars...they have issues.

The girl at work you barely know but is so sweet and caring, gets promotion after promotion, and seems to have it all together...sure, she has problems, too.

Yet when they mess up, show their real lives or do/say something you don't necessarily agree with, we criticize them like we don't suffer from our own faults, our own slip ups and our own imperfections.

When you think about, who wants to hear someone talk about everything negative going on in their world? That's right, no one! It's not that these people are trying to be perfect, or trying to portray this life that isn't real...simply put, they would rather focus on the positive things going right in their lives, rather than the negative.

If all I wrote about on here was how miserable my day was, how I'm stressed about family issues going on right now, how I yelled at Beau for absolutely nothing the other night, how my house is a complete wreck or how terrible Oakley has been lately, would you really want to come back? Probably not...and I don't blame you! I wouldn't want to read about that either!

The point of all this is that whether it be in real life, work life, blog life, social media life, whatever...none of us are perfect. The next time someone does something (good or bad), or says something (good or bad), or looks a certain way (good or bad), or feels down about something or is just genuinely happy about something going on in his/her life, let them be however the heck they want to be and you continue being whatever the heck you want to be. Rather than judging or being envious over someone else's life, be happy they're trying to live the life they want to live and you continue being happy living the life you want to live.

I don't know where this is going anymore, but what I do know is this is always an excellent reminder to me when I need it most:

#truth

Now go. Focus on your life and be happy for others. That's all for today.

My Insides Are Cuter Than Yours...Well, Unless You're Pregnant, Too...

Happy Thursday, friends! 

Baby H had it's first "official" photoshoot this week so I just wanted to drop in and give you all a quick glimpse at his/her first "real-baby-looking" picture! Like most first ultrasounds, our first snapshot (at 7 weeks) of our little peanut resembled that of a grain of rice but now...NOW (at 12 weeks) there's a full-blown baby in there! With such distinct features already, it's so incredibly hard to believe he/she/it is still only the size of a plum!

He/she/it better get used to photoshoots. Just sayin'...

There were so many judo chops and high kicks going on at the time, I'm surprised the tech was able to capture this shot of this little squirmy wormy of mine, but I sure am thankful she did!

I just can't handle the preciousness of that little profile. Never did I ever think my insides could be so cute! ;)

It really is incredible, y'all. And still very very surreal. 

PS-if you aren't knocked up, have never been knocked up or never plan to be, it's completely normal to think these ultrasounds are the creepiest thing since Chucky. I felt that way, too...until it was my own. :)

Now go have a drink for me tonight, would you? I insist.

Hump Day || Bump Day - 12 Weeks

I've literally been dying to post my first "Bump Day" for a really long time now. However, I would be lying if I said it's an "easy" task. One would think it's a simple thing to do, however, surprisingly enough. It takes effort. And motivation. Two things which I'm lacking these days.

First...updating the board. I have to actually read books to figure out what it needs to be updated with. Second...I have to physically set aside time to erase it all and start fresh and be creative and suffer from hand crampage towards the end of it all. Third...I have to set up my camera on a tripod on top of a chair in my office to get the right angle. It's weird and the camera has recently taken a few nosedives but hey, you do what you gotta do. (#pregnantbloggerprobz) And fourth, I have to actually look decent to snap the picture. THAT is most definitely the part that takes the most work. Wearing anything besides a tshirt and pajama pants makes me want to shank someone so be thankful for the fact that I have on a fitted shirt and jeans (and even a necklace...WHOA). 

Also-I'd like to go ahead and point out my art skills right here. That little image next to the word "like" may look like "an upside down cat in a tent" (according to Katie) but rest assured, it's my version of an ultrasound. We can't all be talented in all areas. I have my faults too, and apparently drawing ultrasounds is at the top of that list.

How far along: 12 WHOLE weeks. It's a big deal, y'all. Well, as of today I'm 12 weeks and 3 days, if you want to get all technical about it. Or 12w3d in "pregnancy lingo".

Baby size: A plum! And might I add, the most precious little plum I ever did see. Or not see?

Weight gain: I'd rather not know but I think it's about 4 pounds. (Insert >cringe< face)

Maternity clothes: Nope but definitely busted out the old rubberband trick a few times this weekend.

Stretch marks: None & I pray it stays that way. Bio-Oil...you're my new BFF. But I read they're hereditary and momma J has them so...crappola.

Sleep: In between the 6 trips to pee, it's great! Just dandy! Who doesn't sleep like a rock when they wake up with a full bladder every hour?

Gender: No clue and it's KILLING me!! April 5 can't get here soon enough! I NEED to know.

Movement: Tons of movement during our ultrasound this week but nothing big enough to feel yet.

Best moment this week: Can I have momentS?? There are too many to choose from!! Hearing the heartbeat again, seeing our little squirmy worm wiggle around in my uterus, having my momma see her grandbaby on the big screen at our 12 week appointment, Katie booking her trip to come stay with us and FINALLY announcing to the world that we made a baby!!

Looking forward to: Going to bed as soon as I finish typing this. #realtalk Oh and I'm looking forward to actually looking pregnant, too. Come on bump!

Food cravings: Cereal with bananas and anything with a vinegar taste..pickles, olives, salad dressing, buffalo sauce. Weird. I know. Oh...and fruit and juice.

Weirdest food I ate this week: Most definitely a mayonnaise and cheese sandwich. Took me back to my junior high days, except this time I used gluten-free bread and vegannaise instead of the real stuff in hopes that it'll save me from gaining an extra pound or two...or 30.

Anything making you queasy/sick? Twice now I've been so exhausted I've felt nauseous but other than that, no sickness. Thank you 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus.

Labor signs: Uhhh no.

What I miss: WINE. Hey, just being honest. Oh-and my energy. That can come back any day now.

Symptoms: Did I say exhaustion already? Sheer freaking exhaustion is putting it nicely. Other than that, peeing every 2 minutes and these stupid nagging headaches every other day are starting to suck. Oh-and pregnancy brain...ya I'm finding out that really exists.

Nursery: Well...we know which room will be the nursery but that's about it...

Belly button in or out: In like Flynn.

Mood: Feeling incredibly thankful for this journey so far! Thankful that it happened fairly quickly and easily and thankful that besides the exhaustion, it's been an easy ride (so far). Also feeling overwhelmed with love from family and friends! :)

Workouts: I've been doing 2 miles on the treadmill and lifting light weights twice per week. Nothing to write home about, that's for sure. My goal is to get to three days per week. Baby steps, people. Oh and when I say "2 miles" I definitely don't mean running. I mean walking...but at a brisk pace and at the highest incline possible.

Things that suck: Falling asleep during The Bachelor, not being able to drink, and boob hurtage. Holy mother of all things tender. Pardon my French but "tender" my ass. More like don't touch them, don't come near them, don't even LOOK at them. Unless you're my sports bra. Goodness gracious...they should call it "breast hurtlikehellness". "Breast tenderness" is far too vague. This would also be why "running" no longer exists in my vocabulary. Oh-and I have to mention this whole "in-between" stage sucks. Am I fat? Am I bloated? Did I drink too much beer? Or is there a fetus in my belly? From a strangers perspective...who knows?

Things that don't suck: Ever-growing hair and nails...and THICK! Definitely loving this perk! Oh-and not being on a strict diet for the first time in 5 years. Ya...that doesn't suck.

And because I've been documenting this journey for a while now, lets take a moment to go back in time, shall we?

This was week 7...the week of our first appointment and first ultrasound! 

That's all I gots. Momma Bear is tired. And my eyeballs hurt. Not to complain, but you try being pregnant...psssh.

We're Going To Be Parents - How We Found Out

January 6, 2014…a day I will never forget. It was cold as hell that morning…24 degrees to be exact. I can’t even tell you the last time we had temps below 30 in Houston…

Back up a little to mid-October. Beau and I were on vacation in the Bahamas when I brought up “the baby conversation” at dinner at The Ocean Club at Atlantis. Never did I ever think I would be uncomfortable around Beau to do anything. I mean, he is my husband. There's nothing, and I mean nothing I haven't done in front of Beau but for some reason, I got nervous bringing this topic up! Luckily...I was about 3 glasses of wine deep, which gave me just the courage I needed to break the ice.

I knew I had been wanting to strike up the conversation and get his feelings towards us “trying” to have a baby and to be honest, I had no clue how he was going to feel about it.

I explained to him that we weren't getting any younger, reminded him that we both wanted to have a baby before we were 30 and also reminded him how precious the triplets are and how every time we leave them, I just want to steal one and keep her for our own. #truestory

To my surprise, he agreed…or maybe he just wanted to appease me for the night thinking he'd get lucky. But what I do know it that we both agreed is that we would just “try and see what happens”. We wouldn't stress about it. We wouldn't do any type of crazy family planning. We just wanted to give it a shot.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think it would happen as fast as it did but on January 5, I had made a joke to Beau that maybe I was pregnant because it had felt like I should have had my period before then. I’m awful at remembering when my periods are and I have not the slightest idea as to when I ovulate because honestly, who has time for that?

We both laughed and blew it off thinking…ya right.

Later that evening, I was at the grocery store when all of a sudden I get a text from Beau saying “Do you want to pick up a pregnancy test?” I laughed but said “Ya...That’s probably a good idea…”

Sidenote: Is it just me or did any of y’all feel like finding a needle in a haystack looking for a pregnancy test?! It took me a good ten minutes to find the right aisle and then once I was at the right aisle, it took me another 5 to find the pregnancy test section. Once I arrived there, I was presented with a gazillion and one options. I went with the digital kind because Beau likes techy stuff like that and I knew it’d entertain him, if nothing else.

Ok..where were we? Oh...so I got home, started reading the instructions and it suggested taking the test your first pee of the morning. (Remember that to any of those expecting to pee on a stick sometime soon!) Since it was night time, I tossed it on my bathroom counter and went on with my night.

The next morning, I got up around 5:30am, per usual. Beau heard me get up to go start working in the office and before I left the room he said “Did you pee on that stick?”. I giggled and said “No. I haven’t peed at all”  and just moved on. An hour later, I had to pee. I’ve taken one of these tests before, but only one, and I was pretty confident it was negative then (which it was) and I definitely thought the same this time around. I get out ‘said’ pee stick. Do my business. And tossed it on the counter and started my bath water. Almost forgetting about it, I go back to my bathroom sink where the stick is sitting only to find it state clear as freaking day… PREGNANT.

Beau from our bed “Did you take it?”
Me: “Ummmmmm…”
Beau: “What does it say?”
Me: “It definitely says pregnant.”
Beau: “Really?!”
Me: “Yes. {Insert *f* bomb here}.”

We waited a few more minutes to let to “estimated weeks” appear and sure enough…I was the most “estimated” weeks possible…3+, which really meant in doctor terms, I was at least 5+ weeks pregnant. (Remember how I said I don't keep up with my cycles? Proof. Most normal women know THE day they miss their period and here I am, 3 weeks late and had no idea...)

I feel like posting the official picture of my pee sticks is a right of passage. You're welcome.

The next words to come out of my mouth were absolutely without a doubt "What the hell have we done?!"

After I finally realized what had really just happened, I climbed up onto the bed next to Beau and and said to him “Oh my God. We did it! We made a baby!” followed by another "Oh my gosh what on Earth have we just done?!"

Sure-I was excited but I was more nervous than anything. Ok…more like terrified. Not terrified of being a mom at all...but scared to death of being pregnant. I looked at Beau with tears in my eyes and said “I’m happy I just didn’t expect it to say that.I didn't expect it to happen in just two months. I don’t even know what to do.” He was so sweet and said something I'll probably never forget. He told me he was nervous, too, but he was excited to be a dad. And he was excited for me to be a mom. And that's when it got surreal. We were going to be parents.

After the initial shock set in,  I then started to think back how I had taken 2+ hour naps the past 4 days in a row, which is totally uncharacteristic of me. That pregnancy exhaustion they talk about...it's the real deal.

Mind you...this all happened before 7am in the morning. On a Monday morning, to be exact. When I say every emotion ran through my mind that cold, cold morning...I mean every emotion and then some. And then I thought to myself “How the HECK am I supposed to work today?!” It was then that I decided that the day every woman finds out she is pregnant should automatically get a free, stay at home, you need some time to realize you just changed your life for-ev-errrr day. Forealz.

I am so thankful it was a Monday because I work from home on Mondays. If I would have had to go into my office that day, I would've had to lock myself in my office and never come out in fear of telling any/everyone I saw.

Alas…I worked. I cried. I checked work emails. I thought of baby names. I completed a new drip marketing campaign I had been working on. I Googled “Foods you can’t eat when you’re pregnant”. I worked a little more…social media updates, reporting, blogging…you know. Joined thebump.com. Edited an email campaign I had worked on earlier. Went in the mirror and looked at my belly. Went back into the bathroom to see if the pregnancy tests still said “PREGNANT 3+”…sure enough, they did. Talked to Oakley about being a big sister. Cried at the thought of Beau becoming a daddy. Thought of how we were going to tell our parents that night that WE ARE PREGNANT. Wanted to call/text everyone in my phone book and tell them the news but refrained as I knew we wanted our parents to be the absolute firsts to know. Thought about taking a nap 47 times but knew I had to wait until 5 to pass out. See why I could have never made it at my office on that day?

We knew we wanted to tell our parents that night. I had always told our moms that they would know the day I found out I was pregnant and I knew I wanted to stay true to that promise.

We're not ones to keep secrets, especially from our parents, so all day long we were fumbling around trying to figure out what we were going to do, how we were going to do it, and how we were going to ask them if we could come over that night and not let them expect anything?!

Pinterest came to the rescue.

I ran out of the house at lunch and found a “Big sister” t-shirt at The Children’s Place (size 4T for my big girl) and brought it home for Oakley to wear so she could make our big announcement for us. :)

Though it took them all a few minutes to realize what her tshirt said and meant, their expressions were absolutely priceless! Happy tears, hugs, jumping up and down...all of it! Telling your parents that you had sex and made a baby is quite possibly the most awkward thing ever but once you get past that and focus on that fact that YOU MADE A BABY, it's all worth it. I promise! ;)

We surprised Beau's sister and brother-in-law by leaving these on their front doorstep, knocking, and running. You know...because that's what mature soon-to-be parents do.

I'd be lying if I said keeping this secret in for the past 6+ weeks isn't one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Literally.

I ignored phone calls. Didn't respond to emails. Forwent happy hours. And basically wanted to crawl into a hole until it was okay for me to tell the entire world that we were going to have a baby. Longest. 6. Weeks. Ever.

EVER.

And I'm so glad it doesn't have to be a stupid secret anymore! Now it feels real. Now I'm getting more excited. Lets get this show on the road, Baby H!

P.S.-thank you so so SO much for all your sweet comments on my blog post, Instagram and Twitter yesterday! Beau and I were so overwhelmed with love and happiness...it felt like Christmas all day long! I am so grateful for you internet people who welcome baby H into this world with open arms and loving hearts. I just can't wait to share this journey with you!

Tomorrow I'm hoping to post my first "Bump Day"! I've always looked forward to posting those and now it's my time to shine! You know...if I'm not too exhausted to update my chalkboard and look decent enough to pose for a picture... ;)

Where I've Been

...in bed by 8:30pm...sharp

...napping once/day every day

...needing anything with a vinegar flavor...olives, pickles, buffalo sauce, salad dressing...you name it

...taking half naked selfies in the mirror every morning

...eating cereal any given day and at any given point in time

..squeezing my ass into my pants and dresses every day

...thinking about working out everyday only to see it happen twice a week

...stalking Baby Center's iPhone app

...wondering if there really is something in this belly of mine?

...snuggling with God's greatest creation ever, the Snoogle (errmahgawddd)

...wearing baggy tops in hopes to hide this "bloat" belly I've been rocking for the past 2 weeks

...reading "Fit Pregnancy" magazine and also, "What to Expect When You're Expecting"

...dreaming of whether or not I'll be decorating a pink or blue nursery

...thanking the good Man upstairs for NO morning sickness

...wondering how it's humanly possible to be this. friggin. exhausted. all. the. time.

...and literally DYING to shout this from the rooftops since we found out on January 6...

Yep! I peed on a stick and all signs point to the fact that we are, indeed, havin' us a...

All photography via Sparkle Photography

While I'd like to say I haven't been blogging because of lack of things to write about, it's been for the simple fact that A) staying up until 9pm to write makes me want to literally curl up in a ball and die and B) 99% of my thoughts these days are baby related and, for obvious reasons, I haven't been able to post about them until now. Forgive a girl, K?

Is this going to turn into a baby blog? No. But I promise to be as open and honest (as much as possible) throughout this journey in hopes to give you all an honest glimpse of what it's like to officially be knocked the heck up.

Let's just say...it's been an exhausting, beautiful, crazy, weird, exciting, hormone-induced, yet slightly better and easier than I would have ever imagined (so far) kind of ride. More details to come...

Eat The Food, Tina.

Aaaaaand we're back.

Don't mind me...I'm just over here going 53 different directions on any given day and hitting the hay and crashing HARD by the time I get home every night. Hence, the lack of blog posts this week.

Anywho-I wish I had something really fun to use an excuse for my lack of blogging this week but I don't and hey, life happens. Forgive me wouldya?!

You know what also happens when I take a weeklong blogging hiatus? New freaking yeast-free recipes! That's right...recipeS with an S! And by the plural form of that word, I mean I somehow managed to recreate 3 new recipes this week. Who am I? I don't even know anymore.

First things first...Paleo Cinnamon Rolls via Real Sustenance.

Goodness gracious these things were to. die. for. Super moist and sweet and since they're mostly made of almond flour they're super dense and filling. You couldn't pay me to eat two without looking like I have a cinnamon roll baby.

Ready for the sucky part?? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but with the amount of almond flour, flax meal and erythritol I used to recreate this recipe...these babies easily cost me $20 to make one pan (9 rolls). Would I make them again? If I were absolutely feening (sp?) for a healthy cinnamon roll but to shell out 20 bones for cinnamon rolls...not so much. I'll stick with my Quest Bars for that matter!

Moving right along...

Southwest Turkey & Spinach Meatballs - hello new household staple!

Served with sauteed zucchini and organic black beans. Delish.

I originally found this recipe from Kristin at Mama & Mou and recreated it for a work event this week. Perhaps I'm bias but I'd like to think they were a hit! So flavorful. So filling. And so lean. Holla!

And the best for last...obviously.

Spaghetti Squash Taco Casserole. Y'all. Y'ALL. Words cannot describe how happy my little tastebuds were when I took my first bite.

The first time I made this, I didn't realize the bake times were so long so take this as a little warning: if you plan on making this, plan to start cooking it about 2 hours before you intend to eat. Are you steady cooking for the full 2 hours? No. It's minimal prep and cooking...just long bake times. I promise-it is SO worth it.

Ingredients:

• 1 large spaghetti squash
• 1 lb lean turkey meat, browned
• 1 packet taco seasoning (I make my own. Recipe here.)
• 1 - 1 1/2 C sugar-free salsa 
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• 1 can black beans
• 3 Roma tomatoes, diced
• 3 eggs, whisked
• Salt & pepper to taste

Instructions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. 
2. Cut spaghetti squash in half lengthwise, face cut sides down onto a baking dish and bake for 35 minutes.
3. While squash is cooking, brown your turkey meat, add taco seasoning, allow to simmer for 10 minutes and then set aside.
4. Once squash is finished cooking, using a fork, scrape out the insides of your squash to make your "noodles". Place noodles in a 9x13 baking dish. 
5. Reduce oven to 350 degrees. 
6. In baking dish, add taco meat, salsa, onion, black beans, tomatoes, salt & pepper. Mix well. 
7. Next, add in whisked eggs and mix everything together.
8. Bake in the oven for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until you begin to see a thin crust forming on the top. 
9. Allow to cool off for 5 minutes. 
10. Top with fresh guacamole or diced avocado and enjoy!

If you do one thing for yourself this weekend, be sure you treat yourself to a new recipe! Specifically the Spaghetti Squash Taco Casserole.

Do it.