March 24, 2014

Sh*t Pregnant Women Say {1st Trimester Edition}

Omg does that say "positive"?

How much weight am I "allowed" to gain?

It's ok...I'm eating for two... I gonna be sick?

Is it nap time yet?

(In response to "How are you feeling?") Good! Besides the fact that I'm exhausted, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, my body is changing by the minute and my boobs hurt like the dickens...I feel just greeeeat.

What?! No sushi??

Do you think I'm showing? Or is that just the pancakes?

Can I eat this?

Oh my gosh...nine months with no wine??


When do I get to find out what I'm having?

Shhh. We're pregnant. But you can't say anything to anyone for 6 more weeks...

Uhh...where's your nearest restroom?

What about now? Is it nap time yet?

Wait. Did I just feel movement?

Do you think I need to wear maternity clothes yet?

Are you sure there's only one in there?

No sister-in-law just had triplets. ARE YOU SURE??

Do we have any pickles?

I think I need to pee.

Does this make me look fat?

I don't think I'm going to make it to the gym today...

Ummm...what's a birth plan?

I'm just sooooo tired...

Do you smell that??

We should probably start planning our babymoon...

ACHOO!! Did I just pee?

I just can't eat that tonight...

Are you going to take my blood again??

I'm just really tired...

When can I start telling people?


  1. --Have totally had the sneezing moment.
    --Can't tell you how many times I've said "I just canNOT eat that today."
    --The babymoon is not looking good for me. I can't get him on board w/my idea.
    --Nothing to wear/how much weight have I gained/does this make me look fat...well. After taking my picture on Friday, I cried. I wish I were joking.

  2. Yep. All of it - so true! (PS - the oops-did-I-pee thing lingers well after birth, just so ya know.)

  3. Love this!! :) They're all so true!

  4. Yep, that sounds about right. haha! I'd like to add: (in response to "Are you happy?") NO, I'm completely pissed off (sarcasm).

  5. this is too funny. Congrats, congrats!

  6. and the rest of us say....'is it hump day bump day yet?'

  7. I'm quite certain that I have made ALL of these statements. Looks like I'm just a couple days behind you, due September 10 with a GIRL :). Cheers from Austin, TX!


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