Love, Mom & Dad

I just stumbled upon a post by Beth today and could not help but copy her. [[copycat.]] So here goes my letter to my future teenager. In hopes of not being a complete "wannabe", I'll change it up a little bit by writing my letter to my teenage son...((I will have a son...dangit!))
My little boy, Where to begin?

First of all, look after your sister (If you have one). Always. Anyone who does so much as look at her, shank 'em in the nads. Be your father and I's spy. Any party she goes to, you'll go too...even if you have to disguise yourself. (I'll even pay for the costume.) Report back to your father and I if you ever suspect the tiniest incidence of misbehavior...I'm nosey...remember?

Don't smoke. Please. Ever. It's gross and so unappealing. You're better off drinking anyway and it actually gives you a much better buzz...

On that note...don't drink and drive. It's inevitable that you'll drink. Your father and I met during college algebra, still drunk from the night before so we know you'll partake in these events as well. Just don't drive. Call us. Text us. Whatever you need to do-we'll come get you and even promise not to be mad and ground you and take away your phone.

Sex. Another inevitable factor in any male's life. Use protection while participating in this extracurricular activity-I don't want to be a 40 year old grandmother. That's all.

You will play sports. None of this sissy shit. Football or baseball are your two main options. No gymnastics. No karate. No ice skating. Don't even think about it.

As far as education goes, you will go to college and graduate with a degree. Remember: C's get degrees and it's not the grades you make, it's the hands you shake. Your father and I are excellent examples of these concepts.

Take care of us when we're old and gray. Become wealthy enough to pay for home health care for your father and I. I'm petrified of nursing homes and old people so I don't want to spend my last few years with either.

And last...you might have small hands like you're dad but don't let that get to you. Dad has been made fun of his whole life for it but hey, he turned out alright after all and you will too.

We love you.

Mom & Dad

HA! How fun it will be to look back at this a few years from now! I foresee a post to younger myself from "grown up" myself..."If I had known then..."

Stay tuned!