Those 45 Minutes I'll Never Get Back

If you've noticed, I never posted the typical "New Years Resolutions" post that most people post this time of year. It's not that I don't believe in New Years resolutions; I'm just a firm believer in the idea of constantly improving yourself throughout the year...not just because it's January 1st.

Don't think I don't have a couple of my own. Because I do. They're nothing too big or drastic because most of  the BIG things I'd like to do are things that I will be and should be working on all the time. Saving money, eating healthy, getting fit, clearing my skin up, drinking more water, etc...

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Which brings me to my next point...

The other night, Beau and I had a little tiff. (Trouble in paradise? No. But lets be honest. We're human. I'm a woman. And we don't always get along or agree on everything. That's normal.) 

It was stupid. 

I snapped at him on the phone. He hung up on me. I didn't acknowledge him when he walked in the door because I was too busy watching The Bachelor on the computer. He the proceeded to turn the TV up so loud that I couldn't even think straight. I went up stairs to our bedroom and pouted. In the dark. And slammed the door on the way up. 

Really? How dramatic can I be?

Next thing I know, he comes up stairs, finds me in the bed, 

kisses me on the cheek and tells me he loves me.

What the hell?

How does he do that? 

How does he just flip a switch and everything is peachy again?

So I did what any normal, stubborn wife would do. 

I pouted more. Didn't kiss him back. And refused to talk.

We got into the car to go see one of our friends up at the hospital who had just her baby. I didn't say a word. Nothing.

It took me almost 45 minutes of silence to realize how stupid it all was. How shallow I was to sit there and not talk to him when all he wanted to do was hold my hand and look at me.

And then I got to thinking...

I can never get those 45 minutes back with him.  

Never.  

They're gone.

I had tears in my eyes that I didn't let him see.

If I added up all the times I've done this and could possibly do this over a lifetime, that'd be a LOT of wasted minutes with someone I adore and cherish so much and I don't want that. How did I let this happen?

My conscience was getting to me. I gave in immediately and apologized. He turned down the radio to make sure he was hearing what he thought he heard. He leaned over to give me a kiss and we enjoyed the rest of the night together. (In case you were wondering, he let me finish The Bachelor when we got home.)

Which brings me to THE biggest thing(s) I, as a wife, have to work on, not just this year, but always:

Forgiveness & gratitude.

I'm not the best at either of these. I never have been. But darnit, life goes by too fast to waste a single minute being upset over something that doesn't even matter. I know this. I also know that I'm a brat and a lot of times, I just want to "make a point" but that's ridiculous.

Point or no point.

Right or wrong.

There is no excuse.

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Say "I love you."

Forgive and forget.

Never each other for granted.

 

Sorry for getting all mushy on ya.

I just love him.