January 12, 2012

Those 45 Minutes I'll Never Get Back

If you've noticed, I never posted the typical "New Years Resolutions" post that most people post this time of year. It's not that I don't believe in New Years resolutions; I'm just a firm believer in the idea of constantly improving yourself throughout the year...not just because it's January 1st.

Don't think I don't have a couple of my own. Because I do. They're nothing too big or drastic because most of  the BIG things I'd like to do are things that I will be and should be working on all the time. Saving money, eating healthy, getting fit, clearing my skin up, drinking more water, etc...

***
Which brings me to my next point...

The other night, Beau and I had a little tiff. (Trouble in paradise? No. But lets be honest. We're human. I'm a woman. And we don't always get along or agree on everything. That's normal.) 

It was stupid. 

I snapped at him on the phone. He hung up on me. I didn't acknowledge him when he walked in the door because I was too busy watching The Bachelor on the computer. He the proceeded to turn the TV up so loud that I couldn't even think straight. I went up stairs to our bedroom and pouted. In the dark. And slammed the door on the way up. 

Really? How dramatic can I be?

Next thing I know, he comes up stairs, finds me in the bed, 
kisses me on the cheek and tells me he loves me.

What the hell?
How does he do that? 
How does he just flip a switch and everything is peachy again?

So I did what any normal, stubborn wife would do. 
I pouted more. Didn't kiss him back. And refused to talk.

We got into the car to go see one of our friends up at the hospital who had just her baby. I didn't say a word. Nothing.

It took me almost 45 minutes of silence to realize how stupid it all was. How shallow I was to sit there and not talk to him when all he wanted to do was hold my hand and look at me.

And then I got to thinking...

I can never get those 45 minutes back with him.  
Never.  
They're gone.

I had tears in my eyes that I didn't let him see.

If I added up all the times I've done this and could possibly do this over a lifetime, that'd be a LOT of wasted minutes with someone I adore and cherish so much and I don't want that. How did I let this happen?

My conscience was getting to me. I gave in immediately and apologized. He turned down the radio to make sure he was hearing what he thought he heard. He leaned over to give me a kiss and we enjoyed the rest of the night together. (In case you were wondering, he let me finish The Bachelor when we got home.)

Which brings me to THE biggest thing(s) I, as a wife, have to work on, not just this year, but always:

Forgiveness & gratitude.

I'm not the best at either of these. I never have been. But darnit, life goes by too fast to waste a single minute being upset over something that doesn't even matter. I know this. I also know that I'm a brat and a lot of times, I just want to "make a point" but that's ridiculous.

Point or no point.
Right or wrong.
There is no excuse.
***
Say "I love you."
Forgive and forget.
Never each other for granted.

Sorry for getting all mushy on ya.
I just love him.

55 comments:

  1. Well, this made me cry. How sweet. I want a love like that : )

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  2. I really loved this and it too made my eyes get teary.. Thanks for the reality check,girl .. Between u and Katie I have already reared up twice this morning, wtf lol
    Xo
    Ashley

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  3. I've totally been in this situtation before and I always think the samething! Damn being a woman with our mood swings. ;)

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  4. This is so TRUE! I have done this so many times, over stupid stuff - sometimes not so stupid stuff. But either way - it's wasted, angry time I won't get back with Shawn. I never thought of it that way before. I too could work on gratitude. I think I will. I have a terrible memory, so I'm good on the forgive and forget part ;)

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  5. GREAT post!! This is so true. I never looked at it this way before but now I certainly will - thanks for opening up my eyes a little bit today to realize what's important:)

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  6. Great reminder! Life is too short to waste anytime...we all get upset about stupid things & our pastor reminded us this weekend to say "so what?". To think about really matters in light of eternity...

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  7. Laughed at the fact we're all teary eyed right about now ^^^, this post is totally! We sometimes let our pride and stubbornness get in the way that we forget to realize we only live once and for the moment. But don't think of how you'll never get the 45 minutes back, just think of how you don't want to waste another minute being mad (: Nice resolution!

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  8. this is so sweet. great post.

    love the pic of you two at the end. just priceless.

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  9. i am SO SO SO guilty of doing this too. THANK YOU for putting this in perspective. THANK YOU...really.

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  10. This is so true. My boyfriend & I are long distance & while he was home we had some minor, dumb disagreements & I too like to pout & hold a grudge. But then I realized. I dont get to see him very much & while I was busy pouting & being a baby I couldve been spending happy times with him! I definitely agree with everything you said today! Great Post!

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  11. You and katie both had me crying this morning... Such a sap. So so true!! 99% of the time the arguments are not worth 1 second of our time. Yall are still the most precious couple ever!

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  12. I just love you for writing this. I am the worst at apologizing and getting over stuff. You are so right and good for you for realizing how short life is. It's so easy to get caught up in the small stuff. BUTTTT I still hate how men can snap from mad to ok let's kiss and make-up. In theory, I would love to be that way. but it's soooo harddddddddd

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  13. You are soo right and I'm sure we all have our moment when this happens because I know this is the case in my relationship. I just recently got engaged the week before Christmas and am starting to realize that in order to be happy for the rest of our lives, this is big thing that we both need to work on and learn to enjoy every precious moment we have together. Thank you for putting what most feel into words.

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  14. This sounds just like something I would do. I need to work on it as well!

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  15. Add me to the ever growing teary eyed pile! HAHA

    So true. I'm definitely a brat that can spend a lot of time pouting when I don't get my way or something or someone irritates me.

    Seriously? Am I 5? LOL

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  16. I am SO glad you posted this because I did the exact same thing last night with my boyfriend. I really need to work on forgiveness and gratitude too. Also, not blow up so much and take the littlest problems and blow them up into huge problems

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  17. I just felt I were reading my own words two nights ago. I hate when I do this.

    Thanks for that, Steph!♥

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  18. Oh gah, I love this! I know I am guilty of acting the same way sometimes!! You are so right though, forgive & forget! Life is too short!

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  19. That's so sweet, and you couldn't possibly be more right. I do the same, but really I've never been with someone that I truly loved so I don't think of it as time wasted lol.

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  20. Aside from the whole husband part of this, you described me to a T. Anytime something frustrates me (which is more than I'd like to admit) I sit and stew about it and get even more mad. I have never though about it the way you described.. that all of that time spent mad is time out of my life that I should be spending happy and smiling! I think I will be making an effort to be better at letting things GO! :)

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  21. SO true! I think this is something that almost everyone can work on. Not wasting time being angry or upset or frustrating and just plain loving. Great post :)

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  22. This was such a sweet post! I hope to find that kind of love someday!

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  23. Ok between you and Katies post I have used a WHOLE box of kleenex. I am starting to think you read my mind alot. This was def a slap in the face to me. I am always trying to make a point.What point i am not sure. And when my boyfriend comes and tries to apologize when I am making my point gosh I just want to make that point even more. RETARD here. Thanks for sharing this story with us. Def a story to hear and one that everyone can relate to.

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  24. I do that ALL.THE.TIME! Remember the wedding week fight you and Katie got me through? You have such a good point. Life is too short and you never know what could happen, I really need to get better at "not sweating the small stuff."

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  25. See my boyfriend ignores me and I try to make up. One day I think he will regret it which is why I always try to forgive and forget fast because you can't get back yesterday!

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  26. A big THANK YOU FOR THIS is needed.

    Totally freaking needed to hear this today. I've lost of a lot of those "45 minutes" this week myself.

    :)

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  27. absolutely honest and beautiful post! I needed to read this and thank you for writing it.

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  28. this was perfect! i was that way Tuesday with the boyfriend over something so small and the whole night I was angry didn't talk went to bed without him. And you make it so real those couple of hours I will never get back.

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  29. I feel like this was written specifically for me! Ugh. Love this and I couldn't agree with ya more!

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  30. Great post- I had one of these "fights" the other night- almost to a "t"! Thank you for putting into words and helping me realize not to take my husband for granted!

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  31. Thank you for this. I needed it! I did this two days ago, except I was mad the whole day. And now, I feel so so silly!

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  32. You are so right...amen to all the above and all that you said.

    Thank you for sharing!

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  33. Every relationship is different and we all have our times of stubbornness, but you are right..it's good to forgive and forget. I find that this is easier for men and harder for women. But, all you can do is work on it. And acknowledging it is the first step!

    Cristie
    keepingupwiththeyoung.blogspot.com

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  34. This made me a little teary-eyed. You totally could've just described a tiff between my husband and I perfectly. I'm gonna work on this too, it's a great way to look at it. At the end of my life, I will regret all the little periods of time that I can't get back.

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  35. This why I love you and why we are the best friends ever. We both know I need reminders about things like this and this one is hitting my life right at the perfect time!

    I LOVE YOU!

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  36. This why I love you and why we are the best friends ever. We both know I need reminders about things like this and this one is hitting my life right at the perfect time!

    I LOVE YOU!

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  37. Love this post. I do that more than I'd like to admit. And you are soo right. Time to change. :)

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  38. I love this. (Not the fighting part but the lesson part).

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  39. Omg! I do this all the time, and my problem is that I am too stubborn to just admit that I'm wrong, until, like you said, I've wasted 30-45 minutes just being ridiculous.

    Forgiveness and Gratitude. Words to live by, for sure.

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  40. Omg! I do this all the time, and my problem is that I am too stubborn to just admit that I'm wrong, until, like you said, I've wasted 30-45 minutes just being ridiculous.

    Forgiveness and Gratitude. Words to live by, for sure.

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  41. I agree with you so much! Stupid fights aren't worth it! I need to work on not being so stubborn too! :) I love that you posted this! I'm glad you guys are better now!

    xo

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  42. Oh my gosh, I love everything about this post. I am always guilty of wasting time on being mad... it's not even worth it. What a great reminder for us to think about what's really important in life.

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  43. As mushy as it is... it's also so true! :) Glad you were able to get over it and enjoy the evening. I've been working on trying to be better about doing this too.

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  44. I can't say enough just how true this is! We all need this little reminder from time to time!

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  45. Oh man... you two are the cutest! I do the same with my hubs.. then feel really dumb when I realize that I'm not even mad anymore, just a bit stubborn. I always feel like such a tool!!

    katie
    sparklesinthesnow.blogspot.com

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  46. SUCH a great post Stephanie!!! Since T and I live together..this tends to happen sometimes and it really is interesting to stop and think about how silly we are being holding momentary grudges towards one another over stupid things.

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  47. you know what my husband does that all the time to me too i am pouting have a little pity party and he is over it so he comes and kisses me and i still refuse to talk to him or even acknowledge him. why are we girls so stupid sometimes?? i need to remember the 45 minutes i'll never get back, your post title because it is sooo true!

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  48. I loved this post! I've totally been there and even when I'm acting that way I'm thinking to myself "Why am I doing this?!"

    I need to remember what a waste of time it really is! Thanks :)

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  49. Aww. Thanks for putting things into perspective. It's hard sometimes but glad yall worked it out!

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  50. This is so true, Steph! I find myself doing the same thing after an argument. I can be so stubborn and always feel like I have to prove a point. You're right though, you can never retrieve those moments. Life is just too short! Thanks for the great reminder! I also need to work on forgiving and being grateful.

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  51. Oh.My.Word. Its like you were in my bedroom last night;) I swear the exact.same.thing happened to me last night! And your words couldn't be more true. I woke up this morning upset...not at him, but at myself for being so childish. Such a great post!

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  52. wow, this was a great post! and i have to admit its nice to know that it seems like many of us have this problem... and im not the ONLY one!

    me and the hubs fought about whose way was right to crack an egg the other day. SUPER silly? definitely. it somehow led to lots of nastiness and a good 30 minute cooling off period.

    i definitely think i need to work on this too this year, and thanks for putting it into words!

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  53. HOLY CRAP steph! this is so ironic because last night kurt and i got into a fight and i went and sat in my car...MY FREAKIN CAR. It was 20 degrees and i didnt turn it on thinking like "hmmph hes gonna come out here and get me" and he never did! he was thinking the same thing inside the house, that i was gonna come in THERE!

    it was so stupid and im just like you...stubborn! but this puts it all into perspective and is all so true. I love you for writing this! I need to learn to forgive and forget stupid little stuff

    xoxo

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  54. What a sweet post! And you have a very good point. Enjoy your weekend friend.

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  55. Thank you SO MUCH for this reminder. I need it for sure. How though is it possible for men to just flip a switch and not be mad anymore?! Why didn't the Man upstairs give us women that trait? hehe :)

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