March 19, 2012

Beachy Keen

Spring has definitely "sprung" here in the Lonestar State! (And by "spring", I mean "85 degree temps"). You know me...the second that temperature gauge gets above 75 I'm in a swimsuit.

Fortunately, for moi, I've already been able to hit up the beach twice this year to get mahself a little sunkissed for the upcoming swimsuit season.
Last weekend @ Clearwater Beach

Seriously, y'all, if I could get paid for being a beach bum, I'd be really, really successful. Most likely a 25-year old retiree. Just saying...

This weekend at the pool.

With that being said, I can't help but get excited about new swimmy suits. I am all about swimsuits. Not exaggerating. I'd rather spend twice as much on a swimsuit as I do a pair of shoes or a new purse. It's just my thang...

And when you live in the Sahara Dessert (aka: TEXAS) and your summers last a near 8 months, it's "okay" to drop a few hunskies on an article of clothing that barely covers your lady parts. (Beau-just pretend you didn't read that part...)

I do, however, have a few rules when it comes to purchasing said article of clothing:

[ONE] Price IS a proxy for premium. Don't forget that ladies. I have spent a pretty penny on many, many swimsuits and you know what...it's damn worth it. They don't fall apart, the colors don't fade, the butt doesn't sag halfway through the season and they tend to not snag as easily. Not just that but as with any higher-end article of clothing, it just plain fits better. My butt cheeks stay in place, the padding doesn't get all funky inside and my muffin-top "magically" disappears...

Don't get me wrong...I'm all about Tarjay's swimsuits because their pricetag is rather persuading but I prepare myself with the fact that [1] every other girl and her dog will probably have it on and [2] it probably won't last me until the end of summer.

While I may not be a swimsuit expert, I do have my"regulations" when it comes to swimsuit shopping:
***
ABSOLUTELY NO:

[2] SOLIDS: 
I hate solid swimsuits. SO BORING!!!! This is the ONE thing you can go crazy with. Why waste your money on something so lame? {Gag. No thanks.}

[3] MISMATCHING:
This drives me absolutely nuts. It's not cute. It DOESN'T match! Really...this so-called "trend" will never make sense to me.

[4] TRIANGLE TOPS:
Sure I have a few of these laying around but they're really not for me anymore. First of all, they flatten me out like a pancake. Scratch that...they make my ta-tas look concaved and, well, that's just not cute...I don't care who you are. Second, the idea of my back fat rolling over the thin little string on the sides makes me want to vom. Not attractive ladies. (And yes-I have back fat...)

[5] TIES ON HIPS:
I don't know the technical word for this but it's the bottoms that have, well, a tie on the hips. Again, I have my fair share of these from previous years but here lately, I feel like they put me back in my braces, awkward, no-hips, teenage years. Plus-they emphasize el-hippos...an area I don't need help with. Thanks but no thanks.

 YES:

[6] RUFFLES/BOWS:
Seriously...the girlier the better. Beau can't STAND it and often times, deems me to the kiddie pool but what does he know?? I say: ruffle it up, ladies!

[7] BRIGHTS:
I have never been a dark/dull colored swimsuit person. Sure-I've had my fair share of dark swimsuits but they always pack a hot pink or lime green punch to 'em. It's summertime! Be LOUD for Pete's sake!

[8] STRAPLESS:
I'm okay with tanlines, really, but if I have the option, I'd rather not have those obnoxious lines that show when I wear a strapless dress. Bandau tops are my frands.

[9] UNIQUE:
If there's one thing I can't stand it's having the same swimsuit as someone else...especially if that someone else is a string-bean and they look ten times better in it than I do. I'm all for being original when it comes to your bikini. That's all there is to it.

***
A few beauties I'm currently lusting over:
(The swimsuits, people. Not the actual "beauties")
A



Now if I could just have this girl's "upper half", I'd be a happy girl!
via





Who else is SO ready to spend every Saturday and Sunday under the sun??!!

34 comments:

  1. SO cute! I am in desperate need of a new swimsuit or 10. Also, is it crazy that I walk by our pool every day to see if the cover is off? Um, HELLO!, it's March...in Minnesota!

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  2. Hahaha- you would probably die if you saw my swimsuit collection then. Pretty sure I have some of everything on your NO list ;)

    But YES, I'm ready for the pool and the beach and sun sun sun!

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  3. I'm starting to pay more for my swimsuits so they last longer. I also hate having the same suit as everyone else, no bueno.

    I love your choices and am sure you'll look foxy in them all!

    xoxo

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  4. I love your choices. Love ruffles. Not sure I can pull of a bandeau but I like to try. :)

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  5. You've got balls for posting your cute toosh in a bathing suit. I not so much ;) I love all of these and would LOVE the top half of these women as well!!!! ughhhh

    Can't wait to play at the POOL when you come visit..cough BBFT..do u see this BBFT?!

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  6. All of these are freaking cute but I think your 5th picture is my fave!! I seriously have a huge plastic thing that rolls under my bed FULL of swimsuits. Loveeee them, just need that swimsuit body to go with it haha. Oh & strapless is definitely the way to go!! I hate tan lines!

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  7. love your swimsuit choices;
    this lady right here has no boobies to keep that up; so i have to have halter ones ;))

    i love youuuu xo

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  8. I love those! If only I didn't have thunder thighs...UGH! As for those tops-my ta's are too big so I have to go with something that has straps!

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  9. This is hilarious! Why? Well because everything you HATE, I LOVE (except mismatched... I don't like mismatched either)!! And everything you LOVE, I HATE (except bandeau... I like bandeau)!! Hahaha - I'm seriously laughing out loud at how opposite we are :)

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  10. Hahaha love this! I can't do triangle OR bandeau. Halters for me! I love ruffles too! Especially when they're at the bottom of the swimsuit bottom [like in the third picture] Your regulations are hilarious :)

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  11. Definitely not a fan of the mismatched look. I'm wondering who in their right mind promoted that as being ok.

    I only just started buying bathing suits last year without extra "help" a la Victorias Secret style last year, and I'm actually more comfortable than I was when my ta-tas were enhanced. It was my H's idea and he loves me in my new suits and says it's because it's "all me" in there. Haha.. but I can totally relate to the "concave" look/feeling.

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  12. I am so happy that someone else who lives in the Sahara Desert (also southern California) loves swimsuits as much as i do. & is it me or do people give you that look when you spend some money on swimsuits? but your so correct, the money is really worth it for a good swimsuit!! & one that is unique that you know others wont spend that money on!!

    have a great monday.

    xoxo
    jessica

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  13. LOVE the last one!
    I agree. My bathing suits cost a pretty penny but that's because they last longer like you said. Buying cheap bathing suits adds up because you're replacing them a lot more..

    that's what I tell my husband anyway. ;)

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  14. LOVE the last one!
    I agree. My bathing suits cost a pretty penny but that's because they last longer like you said. Buying cheap bathing suits adds up because you're replacing them a lot more..

    that's what I tell my husband anyway. ;)

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  15. ahhh love all of the bathingsuits!!

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  16. O, man! You hit the nail on the head with this one... I hate a triangle top and a bottom with ties... They do nothing for this gal.

    And all of the swim suits you are obsessing over.. I think you should just get ALL of them ha! I wouldn't be able to just pick one.

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  17. Love your bikini picks!! I only wish I had those bikini bodies... I love bright suits. I'm on the search for a cute ruffle bikini too.

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  18. Where are all of these cute suits from?! LOVING them all :) But as a girl who used to have DD's and had a reduction down to a B, I must say, I get excited about wearing a triangle top, simply because I could never wear one until now! Haha!

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  19. Soooo jealous you get to spend that much time in a swimsuit!! I LOVE the strapless swimsuit tops!

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  20. I totally agree with you with all of your do's and don'ts!! can't wait for summer time!! so jealous you've already been to the beach!

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  21. I agree with you on EVERYTHING! I'm seriously a bathing suite hoarder. I'm constantly buying them every season haha. Like you, i'd much rather spend my money on bathing suits than on expensive shoes and handbags.

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  22. If I looked like those girls in those swimsuits, I might run around naked. Hahahaha! I love that second one.

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  23. Did I ever tell you that you have a really banging' ass??

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  24. Please send all of those bathing suits to my closet NOW please!!!

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  25. look at your cute lil bum bum!!

    if you find a beach bum job, ill do it with you!

    okay so the mismatching...I have a black bottom and a pink and white stripe top. Does that count as an absolutely NO? hahah its not all funky designs! just a solid and a pattern EEEK

    triangle tops flatten me too haha and i cant afford that. SBS syndrome

    im currently loving the ruffle/bows and bright color suits..AHH SUMMER GET HERE NOW!

    the b-suit with the girl laying down. gorgeous. i need it!

    xoxox

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  26. I wish the warm weather lasted that long in Boston:( I love living in a swimsuit as well! I never usually go strapless but I'm ordering a couple for my honeymoon this year!! EEEEK so excited! My man LOVES the ones with the side ties haha - he is always pushing me to buy those!

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  27. Love all these suits! great post girl!

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  28. AHH! YES! Thank you! I have NEVER understood the whole mismatch swim suit "trend". I love the suits you shared. I seem to find another swim suit I NEED every damn year. Therefore, I own quite a few. Too bad I never really get to use them in Seattle :(

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  29. You're too funny! I was laughing at all of your NO's because I do the solid bikini's and mismatch! haha

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  30. oh my gosh, I'm so jealous you've been to the beach already. Those bikinis are so pretty!

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  31. cute swimsuits! looks like a beautiful day at the beach! i love mis matching my suits haha! i think its cool & different.

    xx Kelly

    www.MessyDirtyHair.com

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