July 23, 2010
Dear el cabello,
(*Pst...that means 'hair'...I googled it.)
We have some serious talking to do. (Insert me pointing my index finger and shaking it profusely towards my hair here.) You see, I take such good care of you in high hopes you will one day be as long and voluptuous as Carrie Underwood's. If you don't know how to be that way, maybe you should consult with her hair. It's so big-she's got to have secrets in there. You have one job: to GROW! That's it! I wash you with the best of products. I dry you with nothing less than a CHI blow dryer. I flat iron you with the best, Paul Mitchell. I cut you when your ends get shabby. I soak you in coconut oil at night for moisture. What more could you want?! And this is just a small list. I've started a regimen to give you a little motivation. We have exactly 267 days from today to grow long enough for the wedding. I am giving you all the tools you need to be successful. Please see below for details:
The hair care products I have purchased just for you:
The Horsetail Extract liquid vitamins (which taste like the Chili flavored Lucas I used to get from the ice cream man) for you & your well-being:
3,000 mg of the highest quality, pharmaceutical grade fish oil, with you in mind:
5,000 mcg of Biotin taken religiously, for you:
Four of Dr. Hotze's Hair Skin & Nails Formula (which is the max dosage), once again, for you:
No more flat ironing on the weekdays to keep your poor little ends from breaking off.
and finally....
I only wash my hair every other day, rather than every single day, to keep you from drying out. (This is such a stretch for me.)
Together we can accomplish this and I have every expectation to style you like the picture below for my very special day.
(Imagine a threatening voice here)
So you better get your act together or I'll find someone else to do the job (a.k.a. extensions).
Love Always,
The Horsetail Extract liquid vitamins (which taste like the Chili flavored Lucas I used to get from the ice cream man) for you & your well-being:
3,000 mg of the highest quality, pharmaceutical grade fish oil, with you in mind:
5,000 mcg of Biotin taken religiously, for you:
Four of Dr. Hotze's Hair Skin & Nails Formula (which is the max dosage), once again, for you:
No more flat ironing on the weekdays to keep your poor little ends from breaking off.
and finally....
I only wash my hair every other day, rather than every single day, to keep you from drying out. (This is such a stretch for me.)
Together we can accomplish this and I have every expectation to style you like the picture below for my very special day.
(Imagine a threatening voice here)
So you better get your act together or I'll find someone else to do the job (a.k.a. extensions).
Love Always,
GROW HAIR GROW!!
ReplyDeleteI loove Paul Mitchell hair products!!
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I know it's been years since you wrote this, but I was wondering if you found these supplements and such to be helpful/effective or not? Would you recommend that others try these out? Thanks!
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