Funky Talker. Sleep Walker.

Meet my friend Margie. (AKA "Boo")

Retired Texans Cheerleader. Dedicated wife. Not a mean bone in her body.

Doesn't she look sweet & innocent?

Typically, she is innocent. That's until she's either been really sick, had way too much to drink, or is extremely tired. Then, she turns into the "Funky Talker. SLEEP WALKER"!

That's right...she's a sleep walker and I experienced it for myself this past weekend during our river trip. This is the conversation we had right before everyone passed out for the night:

Jared (her husband): Boo, you better not sleep walk tonight.
Margie (Boo): I won't, I won't. I only do it when I'm really tired, really drunk, or really sick.
J: Ya. Whatever you say.
M: OK. Good night.

To paint you a picture, there were 12 of us sleeping in the upstairs game room. There were bodies everywhere...floor, couches, beds, mattresses on the floor, you name it. Well, Margie and her husband were sleeping caddy corner to Beau & I in a fabulous, fluffy rock hard, not-comfortable pallet on the floor. Beau and I were on a twin mattress. (Remember that for later...a TWIN mattress...2 of us on there...)

Less than 5 minutes later, everyone was down for the count...and so was I.

UNTIL...

All of a sudden I feel someone's hands digging under my blanket and touching my feet. I was terrified. It was pitch black and here I feel someone else's hands on my toes.

Me: What are you doing?!
Margie: Shh. Shh. It's ok.
Me: What do you mean it's ok?
Margie: It's ok. It's just me, Margie. Scoot over.
Me: Scoot over!? We are in a twin mattress.
*And then the light bulb in my head went off and I thought to myself with excitement..."She's SLEEP WALKING on me!"

I fumbled around for my cell phone so I could see but by the time I got it she was already passed out again. And not in her own bed/pallet. She was passed out between our bed and her's. In the fetal position. No pillows. No blankets. (DANG IT I should have taken a picture!...and been nice enough to give her a blanket.)

After realizing what had just happen I was laughing out loud by myself. I tried to wake Beau up to tell him what had just happened by shining the light of my cell phone about 2 inches away from his face. Poor kid couldn't even open his eyes it was so bright. When he finally "came to", I said "Beau. Wake up. Margie was sleep walking!" And then...I felt like I was absolutely in the psych ward...

Rather than Beau waking up and being like "Huh? What?!" He moaned in his sleep and goes "Where's the food?"

REALLY PEOPLE?! I've got Margie sleep walking and my fiance sleep talking. I then decided it was time for me to just go to bed. I thought in my head "What on earth did these kids drink?!" and soon passed out, too.

Moral of the story: Boo gets to sleep in a kennel from now on and Beau gets a muzzle. The. End.