October 4, 2011

If you don't want to be my friend after reading this, I understand.

It has taken a LOT of courage to put this out there on the world wide web but...since this is my blog and I'm as real as they come, you need to know about my most embarrassing moment TO DATE.

Don't get me wrong...there were some close runner-ups but nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to what you're about to read...

Sure-it might be little lengthy and probably TMI but hey, you follow me and I'm an open book so you're in for a treat today, friends!

Let's set the stage...

October 2009: 
  • Beau and I go to a wedding in Galveston...not too long after hurricane Ike hit.
  • Get to hotel, check in, go to wedding
  • Don't know a SOUL at the wedding so we entertain ourselves in the photobooth using one of the hydrangea centerpieces as our "prop".(...after one too many vodka sodas you get creative, ok?.)
  • Go back to hotel that night and crash.
Fast forward about one week later...
  • Beau wakes up with little red, itchy bumps sporadically placed all over his body.
  • We were convinced he had gotten bed bugs from the hotel seeing that it had just been hit with one of the biggest hurricanes that's ever hit Texas and was newly "renovated". Fair assumption, right?
  • Goes to 2 doctors who rule out bed bugs and deem the rash as "plant-derived". (Ahem...remember those hydrangeas?)
  • Fine. Doc gives him a cortisone injection and sends him on his way.
Insert me...
  • A few days after Beau's diagnosis, I wake up with the same stupid rash. But mine is worse. And was slowly making it's way up my neck and onto my face.
  • I hate doctors (well, the thought of doctors) so I did everything I could to NOT see one. Eventually, I found the rash spreading up to my cheek and chin and freaked. (Us women...so vain.)
  • Fortunately, I work at a wellness center so I make an appointment first thing that Monday to see the doc and pretty much beg for a cortisone injection too because, well, that worked for Beau and I needed to see this rash gone stat.
  • In walks the doctor, I tell them what's going on and plead for the cortisone shot. (Please note: most cortisone injections are given in the butt.)
This might be where you think the most embarrassing part comes into play...but rest assured this is not even the beginning.

Insert nurse...
  • Nurse walks in, who, mind you, IS MY CO-WORKER, I drop the pants and she whips out the needle. Here I am-2 months into working for this company with my butt just hangin' out for everyone to see. Awesome. (At least I spared her the image of the tattoo on my left cheek.) 
  • Anyways-needle is injected.
  • I get tunnel vision.
  • Light. Out.
Insert every nurse in the building plus 2 doctors and an ammonia patch....

You get it, people. I passed the heck out.

Within a few minutes of my little "nap", I wake up to someone slapping my cheek, a nurse shaking my arm and a pungent odor in my face. Confused as all get out, I begin to wonder why I was sleeping at work (seriously-I thought I was dreaming) and why I felt all "sweaty".

My hair is stuck to the sweat on the back of my neck, my hands are clammy and my entire body is soaked from head to toe.

The nurses are having me down orange juice and water and a good 20 minutes later, my blood pressure raises from 50/20 (aka: DEATH) to something a little more stable. I finally come to and realize what had just happened. Passed out cold. At work. Pants still down. Grreeeatt.

Okay, okay. Not that big of a deal, right?


I look around to see who all is in the room and start asking "what happened?", "why?", "am I okay?".

I get a slight reassurance from the medical team that I am, indeed, okay and that sometimes "this just happens..."

I get the strength to sit up and realize something had spilled on the floor. I look at the nurses with an apologetic stare and said "Oh my gosh. I must have spilled something. I'm so sorry."

And this is the moment I will never forget...

The nurse looks back and me, looks at the other nurse like "Should we tell her?" and then mutters, "Well. No. Nothing was spilled. Sometimes, when people pass out, they lose control of their muscles...specifically their bladder. And things like this happen."

"You've got to be EFFING kidding me! Don't tell me I just peed all over the place..."

No answer was even necessary. I knew I did. Totally peed all over the patient room.. All over the finely upholstered chair I was sitting in. All over my pants. All over/in my heels.


I was a hot, hot mess sitting in my own urine infested chair and my blood pressure/blood sugar was so low I didn't even have the strength to stand up to get out of it.

(I remember thinking to myself..."Who the hell pees that much?"...)

Anyways. There. That's it.

Since I was still pretty weak from my little "episode", I had to call my mom to come pick me up from work so she could drive me home to change clothes. 

Talk about being the kid who pisses them self at daycare...

There's no comfortable way to end this story other than just laughing. It's funny people. 

I peed on myself at work in front of half of our staff and then had to explain it to my boss why it took me so long to just get a measly little injection. To top it off, I had to call my mother and explain the entire thing to her and convince her that she needed to come get me quicker than quick so I could get a clean diaper.

Don't judge.

If someone wants to buy this for me for Christmas, I won't even be mad.
The. End.


  1. I am so sorry for how much I just laughed at your expense. But it's totally something I would do.

  2. OMG! I would have died. I'm so sorry!!!!

  3. I feel so bad for laughing, but in situations like this I found that if you don't laugh you'll cry!

  4. OMG!!! You are right, so embarrassing!!!!!

  5. You are right...I don't want to be friends with you after this, I want to be besties with you. Even though we already are! I mean heck atleast it wasn't me that did this ;) I will buy u that shirt if u really must have it haha or better yet I wonder if they have one for Beau that says "my wife.." and then the rest. Even better! He'd love it.

  6. oh my! too funny! i mean...not at the time, but now it's a good laugh. i have way more embarrassing stories one involves me drunk, pants down in a bath tub and the other involves my first trip to the gyno when i was 18. i don't know if i'll ever reveal on the blog.

  7. This story is amazingly hilarious, and worth the embarrassment. I almost peed my own pants just reading it. Now I am really curious what the left cheek tat is. hahaha.

    PS - is the rash gone? lol

  8. Oh my word. Get out! I've passed out at the doctors office before but never peed myself...thank god! You are so sweet for sharing your embarrassing story on here! It makes me love you even more!!!! So did you go back to work that day?

  9. I feel horrible for laughing but I couldn't help myself. It is pretty embarrassing but it happens! Being in the medical field, it's the kind of thing that's forgivable. As long as you can look back and laugh about it, that's what matters. The shirt is pretty funny though!

  10. Oh no! Im so sorry but you sure got a giggle out of me :) Rock on for posting this though if you cant laugh at yourself then whats the point.

  11. LOL!!! Thanks for a good laugh this morning :) Sorry it had to be at your expense though!

  12. oh gosh! i'm sorry that happened! that's life though, right!?

  13. this story is awesome! and hilarious! thanks for sharing :D

    now what I want to know is what your tattoo of?

  14. Oh my goodness that is soooo embarrassing, but years later, makes for a very entertaining story!
    I'm with Miss K... tattoo??

  15. omigosh! that is the funniest thing EVER! I mean, I'm sorry it happened but that's frickin' hilarious!

  16. i am LOLing at work stephanie....hahahah omg this is priceless but i FEEL for you! i would be jjust as embrarrressed

    but as I always say...funny embarressing stories make excellent blog posts ;-)

  17. This. is. hilarious. I can't even imagine what i'd do in that situation.

    But anyway, I happened to do some creeping on your little 'about the mess' section, and noticed something hecka important. DZ?! Um, hello! I'm a little pink & green wearing, turtle collecting, killarney rose sniffing alum myself :) just wanted to say 'hey' especially since I never find more of us in the bloggy world!

  18. So this made me laugh SO HARDDDD!!!! Thank you so much for sharing! I am glad you made it through that scary situation. I too have passed out. It was pretty embarrassing.

    One time was when I was in VIctoria Secret on Black Friday and silly ole me didn't eat breakfast.. whoops.

    The second time was a year ago when I was doing clinicals for nursing school. I was in the ER and all of a sudden wasn't feeling well. I started walking to the bathroom.. PS which you should NEVER DO! Then bam blacked out & slightly walked into a wall and went down. I thought I would never hear the end of it... no I didn't see anything bloody-- i wish. I was dehydrated from having surgery a week before. lol

    After reading your story I tried to imagine what I would have done in your situation. Seriously you crack me up and handled it so well!

    Have a GREAT day!!

  19. This has made me fall in love with you.


  20. too funny! well not FUNNY, funny but thanks for sharing!! We have all had those moments but thanks for the laugh!!

    have a good day, girl!

  21. Ahhhh omg!!! I would of DIED! Like literally, I would of crawled into a hole and never come out! But i have to admit though, it's pretty funny haha

  22. funniest thing I have read in months! If it makes you feel any better I had knee surgery a few years ago and was out of it from the drugs and I cussed out my surgeoun for telling me I couldn't wear high heels for 4 months...whoops :)

  23. hahahhaha!! oh my gosh, this kinda SORTA just a tiny makes me want to share my most embarassing moment ever with my blog friends. But Steph, mine is HORRIFIC. I don't know if I could really do it. Yours was classic. CLASSIC.

  24. oh my gosh, this is great! I can successfully say I like you and your blog MORE now ;) I too am deathly afraid of doctors.etc (i just vlogged about it actually haha) and I pass out every time i go! You're brave for putting this up ;) PS I'm having a giveaway on my blog with 3 winners, so you should check it out :)

  25. 1--Thank you, that was awesome!!! I am sorry for laughing but I'm totally still your friend ;)

    2--Please explain your ass tat.

    3--I once passed out after an eyebrow wax.

    4--I too have peed as an adult at a rather inopportune time. But I'll not share it here...

  26. Oh man! That is hilarious! And I agree with Jill, above, explain that tattoo that you didn't share with the nurse..or maybe it slipped after your accident! At least you are okay!

  27. lol i've really had a shottyyy.. day and umm this made is just a little better lol

  28. Wow girl, funny story! I once passed out on the stage at a chorus competition in high school. Thankfully my body decided not to release anything! :) I know how scary it can be!

  29. Aww that totally sucks. I would've been super embarrassed too but at least it's all in the past now.

  30. bahahahaha. i just read this out loud to hubs! too funny and totally embarrassing!

  31. you seriously just made me laugh hard-core but i am so sorry!

  32. and that "anonymous" comment is Ashley from Run With Me - blogger won't let me comment as me on these type of comment boxes - gaay!

  33. Made my bad day so much better! Sucks.. but so funny!

  34. Just laughed so hard I pee'd myself!! Sorry it happened to you but it is a very funny story and you tell it so well.

  35. Am I going to hell for laughing hysterically at this?

  36. Oh. my. gosh. Should I feel bad for laughing my ass off at this??? This is hilarious!!!! I totally pictured the whole thing in my mind as I was reading, and omg.... love it.

  37. You crack me up! Funny thing though - a similar situation happened to the hubby while we were camping. I guess he had more alcohol than water that day and he got up in the middle of the night to pee but ended up getting up to fast and passed out back into the bed. At that moment his eyes rolled back into his head and all his bodily fluids just released. Piss and Sweat!!! Totally freaky!!!!

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  39. You're too funny. I once passed out too after getting a shot - sometimes your blood pressure just bottoms out & *poof* lights out. Well, look at the bright side - consider the ice broken with all your co-workers. ;)

  40. Wasn't funny when it happened...scared the pee out of me! But now it makes me laugh! I love you steph! MOM

  41. I tried to comment on this yesterday but when I hit submit I got an error message. I was too annoyed to type it all out again. Basically, this story is HILARIOUS and I LOVE IT! It is so something that would happen to me. The way you wrote it was soooo good too, felt like it was me writing it! haaaaaaaaa

    p.s. Reesey is sitiing on my lap and says hi gf!

  42. This story is hysterical! I am so glad you shared it with us. I feel embarrassed for you! I had to read your post to Ross so he could laugh too. :)

  43. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You crack me up. :)

  44. That is such a great story. I love how much you thought during the whole process and how none of it was making sense. I have never passed out but I am certain I would all wet myself because I pretty much could go to the bathroom any time.

  45. I just want to thank you for getting me strange looks at work for laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair! Best embarrassing story ever lol --- oh yeah sorry you peed your pants at work lol


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