How To: Throw An Epic Bachelorette Party

How To: Throw An Epic Bachelorette Party

by: me

 

Step 1. Deck out your little bridey...from head to toe.

 (Tiara: check!)

 

 (Sunglasses: check!)

 (Clutch & veil: check & check!)

 



(Themed wine glass: check!)

 

(A coffee mug man who undresses himself as your cup fills and

who conveniently goes by the name "Juan Pablo"...CHECK!)

Step 2. Find a nice old man in the condo complex who wants to share his booze with you.
Thank you, Pat!

 

Step 3. Skip the lingerie party altogether and throw her a "Monograms & Mimosas" party.

 (tutorial on the lace letters coming soon!)

 

 

 

Step 4. Invite the absolute best group of girls to join you.

Casey, Holly, Casee, Brooke, Amanda, Ashley

Moi, Mackenzie, Jennifer, Samantha, Chelsea, Meredith 

Step 5. Spend your day surrounded by good views, great drinks and even better friends.

 
Step 6. Make sure your bachelorette is absolutely stunning. (Very important detail!)

 

Step 7. Ride to dinner and bar hop in style.

Step 8. Wake up hungover as hell the next morning and head to the nearest vineyard!

Doesn't Ash (bride) look gorgeous here? If I told you that she vomited immediately

 after this picture was snapped, would you believe me? 

 

Becker Vineyard

 

 

 

Our adorable guide, Gary, who was later nicknamed "Gare Bear" and told our ADD group that we were "like herding kittens" while on the tour. He even meowed at us multiple times. Gare Bear loved us...to say the least.

Step 9. Steal bottle labels straight from the roll and toilet paper from the bathroom because you ran out at your lakehouse and are too lazy to go buy more. (Sorry, Becker Vineyards. We owe you some TP...)

Step 10. Kiss your guide and compliment him on the mustache.

Step eleven. Stomp some grapes!

 

Step 12. Cheers to an incredible, incredible weekend...

 

...with one incredibly beautiful bride-to-be!

 

Excuse Me While I Recover

While I wish I were still here...

Lake Travis - Spicewood, Texas 

Downing vodka sodies with her...

my beautiful bestie, Ashley

I must say, after this weekend's Labor Day shenans, I actually feel like this...

Bachelorette DOWN!

(where I found our lil bachy the morning after a night of champagne popping, bar hopping and booty shaking...)

 

Apparently I left my replacement liver back at college so please...excuse me for my absence. Regular blogging (and a post on "How to throw the most incredible bachelorette party from start to finish") will return tomorrow. No promises.

Do You Smell That?

Ahhhh...football season has arrived. Such a love/hate relationship I have with this time of year.

Love me some tailgating. Love me some cool weather watching. Love me some Texans. And along with every other girl in America, I especially LOVE me some JJ Watt in tight pants.



{Insert drooling action here.}
 

On the flip side, how I hate becoming a football fan widow every Monday, Thursday and Sunday night. Hate hearing about everyone and their dog's fantasy football drafts all over every social media platform invented. And HATE the ever-so-obnoxious "Who Dat?". (Oops. Was that rude?)

Other than that, I'm pretty okay with football season and in honor of this monumental day in every man in America's lives, I present you with quite possibly my favorite YouTube video to date. (Ok-so it doesn't top this video but still...) For the love of GOD, make sure your speakers are on for this one.


My husband is going to be so proud of this post. I just know it.

Healthy Dog = Happy Dog (A Recipe)

Two dog posts. Two days in a row. Who am I and what have you done with the old Stephanie?

Some people call it down right spoiling, others call it doing anything and everything you can to make up for the fact that you're shipping her off to camp for 3 weeks. Tomato/tomahto. When Beau's co-worker emailed me this recipe and I saw that A) it only had 4 ingredients and B) 'said' ingredients were all extremely healthy and C) they already resided in my kitchen, I immediately started pre-heating my oven. 

Simple, cheap, healthy and will leave your dog loving you more than ever before...I mean, if that's even a possibility! Obviously, it's not possible in our house. ;)

2 1/2 C flour (I used organic oat flour) | 2 eggs | 3/4 C pumpkin | 3 T peanut butter 

Mix up your dough using your old fashioned hand mixer because A) you don't bake enough to own a big fancy stand mixer and B) you're just too darn cheap to buy one.

Roll out...I mean, roll IT out and use whatever cookie cutter you can find. I, surprisingly enough, only own 1 cookie cutter and it just so happens to be of the best state in the country. (See what I mean when I say I don't bake enough?) This recipe made about 25-30 treats. Depending on your cookie cutter size, it may make more or less. 

Grease a cookie sheet with a little olive oil cooking spray to prevent sticking. Place cookies as close together as you'd like. They don't expand so don't worry about them sticking to one another...just make sure they're not touching.

 Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes, or until golden brown.

Allow to cool completely and then watch your four-legged child go absolutely nuts to the point that picture taking becomes physically, mentally and emotionally impossible. Ears back + eyes closed equals the look of pure bliss. 

Seriously-if this non-baking, non-direction-following dog mom can handle this recipe, you. can. too. Trust.

They're Sending Me To Camp? (By: Oakley)

Say wha?

Apparently when you turn 7 months old around these parts, weigh 80 pounds, drag your mother down the street when she tries to walk you and jump on friends when they come over to visit, you get sent to camp. Yes, camp.

I'm not talking about a weekend stay with girl scouts that consists of crafting, s'mores and Kum Ba Yah...I wish. I'm talking about a 3 week's stay at some place they call the "Pet Resort".

3 weeks of hard, focused work, on my end, where I'll learn to be a good girl. I've got this sit, stay, shake, high five (with both hands!), roll over and bow stuff down to a tee but according to my humans, I'm due for some intense obedience training. Womp, womp, womp.

Am I excited? A little.
Will I meet friends like Taco, Walter & Romeo? I sure hope so! ;)
Will I learn to be a civilized Ridgeback? I better.
But most of all, will I miss my mother every waking moment of every single day?

I think that answers your question.

I hope this place is ready for me because I've got sass for days, eyes that get me whatever the heck I want and a lot of learning to do. Bring it, Pet Ranch. Buh-ring it.

Love always,
Oakie