August 15, 2012

Fall Fashion {Hate it/Love it}



hate it
8 things you'll never hear come out of my mouth this fall...

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1. I can't get my turtleneck to fold over right. Should my necklace go on the outside or should it dangle over the collar?

2. Does this mustard cardi bring out my eyes? 

3. Where the hell are my loafers??? 

4. Babe-what about mah jeans? Are you sure these high-waisted trouser pants don't accentuate my camel toe?

5. This jest doesn't make me look like Billy Ray Cyrus, does it?

6. My uggs...do they make me look like an oompa loompa? Are you sure? I just feel really squatty...They don't make my feet look like boats, do they?

7. Do these booties make me look like a clydesdale? {No} Ok good...because I sure as hell feel like one. {Yes. Yes you do look like a clydesdale, ma'am.}

8. Do you think these earrings are made out of real feathers?

****

Lez just say loafers and booties just aren't my thang.
love it
Happy Fall wishing! We'll be in 90 degree temps through mid-October (at least) so while all you Northerners are snuggled up in scarves and shawls next month, I'll be contemplating whether or not I should wear shorts on Christmas day...

August 14, 2012

Honey Boo Boo & Such...

I really strive to be an honest person but it's been a while since we had a little heart to heart.
Wouldn't you agree? (And obviously by "heart to heart" I'm referring to me telling you random confessions and you not judging me.)

 [I confess...]

...I'm not wearing any underwear today.
(Y'all. I'z kiddin. Stop being so serious.)

...I went into a clothing store last night with one main target: the free baked cookies. Yep. Didn't even browse. In. Out. Cookie in hand. That's how it's done. (It could've been worse...I could've taken two. Portion control, people.)

...This morning I legitimately asked my boss what a "domestic partnership" was. 

...Thanks to Katie, I may or may not be pitching a fit to have this dog. I'm even considering a "Get Stephanie a Puppy" foundation. We'll call it "GSAP" for short. Think anyone will donate?
Don't you just wanna squish him??!!

...If that's not enough, I wrote a letter to a dog this week and mailed it to directly to him. Please tell me I'm not the only one who writes letters to dogs? (Katie-I hope you taugh Rocky how to read?)

...Last night I saw the Honey Boo Boo preview (for the gazillionth time )and proceeded to tell Beau over and over again that he best "redneckognize". Being from the South, I cannot get enough of this term.


...I'm okay with the Olympics being over. If I had to watch one more Asian chick perfect her swan dive one more time or some Russian girl doing "rhythmic gymnastics" with a ribbon and a damn ball I was going to choke myself with said ribbon. (Come on. Rhythmic gymnastics is not a sport people.) #sorryimnotsorry Plus, Ryan Lochte was no longer being spotlighted in slim to nothing. My life is over.

...Mine and Beau's latest addiction to frozen grapes every.single.night is a little out of hand. Anyone else do this?? Ohmygod. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

...Though I love me some Zach G and Willy F, The Campaign is just plain dumb. And not worth my time. Save yourself the money, watch the trailer and you'll get the same effect. And then thank me for saving you $10. (What happened to the $5 matinee??)

...My favorite workout songs as of late are Spice Girls "Wannabe" and
Smashmouth's "All-Star" (think Shrek circa 2001). And yes, I do realize it's 2012.

...I just Googled when Shrek first came out and this is what those "geniuses" predicted I would type:
Apparently now Google is on me about having children...
Nice try, Googs. #nothappening #justbecauseyouregoogledoesntmeanyouownmetoo

On that note...I really want a shirt that says "Keep Calm & Google Everything" because lets be honest...that is my life motto these days (and for the last 8 years...)

...I've been thinking about Hawaii all.morning.long.
23 days any counting...
Sweet Jesus, can we just be there already?! 

August 13, 2012

How a broke girl spends her weekend

{iphone style}

 Start your weekend off by partaking in complimentary ritas by the pool whilst at a "work meeting". 
Yes-this really is at someone's "office". (Sign me up!) 

Support your husband as he partakes in SIX "said" ritas and loses his ability to drive home.
#jerk #hebeatmetoit

Split a pizza at a local bar and call it a night.

Work out as soon as you wake up because Lord knows, you can't just sit still on a Saturday morning...and lets be honest...working out is FREE.

Take advantage of your townhome complex's pool party by inviting friends over to enjoy free 
Chick-fil-a, kegs and watermelons covered in Vaseline (don't ask).  

Spend the rest of the night consuming $2 beers and $4 appetizers with your best friends.

All while watching the Texans kick @$$ at their first pre-season game.

Consume cereal as your fourth meal because the $4 nachos just weren't enough an you're too money conscious to stop at Taco Hell.

Spend Sunday morning cleaning house, doing laundry and "splurge" by hitting up the matinee to watch "The Campaign". (which sucked if I must say so myself.)

Watch your husband fry deer steaks in nothin' but his boxers.
[Sorry ladies, food pic only. And yes-I ate mac & cheese and LOVED it.]

Meanwhile you tear up your pantry to find enough ingredients to make 
healthy breakfast muffins for the week.


Wrap up the weekend by closing out the Olympics and ringing in Shark Week. (HELL. YES.)

All in all...not a bad weekend but this "whole no shopping or spending money or doing anything because we're saving money for the house" is for the birds. 

The end.

***
Oh-and a SUPER SPECIAL birthday shoutout for my son nephew, Rocky Krysh Howard! Don't you just want to squeeze him?? (I did. Many times. And he liked it.) Sweetest furchild ever. How on earth he is kin to Katie is beyond me...  ;)

August 9, 2012

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Clearly, it's not Christmas time and therefore, I'm referring to college football season, people. Get with me. And by "football season", I obviously mean cute, new alma-mater inspired outfits paired with nights of heavy drinking, old college flames, awkward sorority sister meetups at random tailgates, port-a-potties, keg stands and somewhere in between all that, a football game is involved. Weird?

The moment I read this email, I, obviously, squealed a little inside and then my mind immediately wondered off to my closet to dream up some kind of outfit to put together for the first game. 

Then I realized I just bought a HOUSE and sister is in no way, shape, or form in any position to be buying new clothes for football season. (Or for any season, really.) Damn.

So I said screw it and decided I would wonder off into someone else's closet and dream up somethin' fancy. A girl can only hope that someone really nice would deliver all these things, in all the right sizes, to the doorstep of our townhome. We're the unit with the "Howdy"  doormat, if that helps at all. (::hint::hint::)

[Psst: I wear a size 4 (or 6 on a bad day) and my shoe size is a 9.5]

For us Southern girls who'll be facing 90+ degrees through mid-October...cotton dresses and flip flops are a girl's best friend! 
Fall football fashion 2

I really need this entire getup. PLEEEEESE?

***

And for you Northerners...a little boot/scarf action to keep your hineys warm ;)

Fall football fashion


Oh-and if this isn't the most incredible pair of shoes ever, I don't know what is...

Thankful it's Thursday...I'm out like an anorexic girl in a pie eating contest.

August 8, 2012

Hanging up my shoes

Have you ever thought what life would be like if you didn't blog? Those of you who don't necessarily write, but enjoy reading blogs-what would life be like for you?

No. Really?

I was thinking about this the other night...not that I'm hanging up my blogging shoes anytime soon so don't even go there (tricked ya with the title?!)...but I was just thinking about ALLLLL the things that would be different in my life if little Ms. Kristen wouldn't have frantically emailed me one day back in 2010 asking for my Gmail username and password and an hour later, another email following with my new "blog" URL. Y'all...I didn't even know what in God's name a "blog" was.

You think I'm kidding...

I can honestly say, if I didn't read y'all's blogs, I would be missing
out on a whole heck of a lot of important life things...

Like knowing how to take the most perfect maternity pictures &
have the most incredible red hair on the face of the earth.
Seriously, Julie. Stop it. I hope I look like you when I grow up.

Or how to create the most amazing poofy pony, how pugs & bourbon can literally change your life, and the wonders you can work with a few pieces of fake hair, a clip and a hot glue gun...
I would be completely clueless without my personal fashion advisor, Katie,  would've never known that a school by the name of "Ohio State University" even existed...or about Mickey D's ice coffee...or pomeranians...or really, anything. I also wouldn't have anyone to send ridiculous videos of myself singing Shaggy's "Angel" while I drive on the freeway in the pouring down rain to someone who replies telling me my tone-deaf voice sounds like "an angel from heaven". God bless this woman for never judging me.
Heart you Katie-bug.

I would be either broke or makeup-less without THE Bargain Blonde 
and her passion for beauty and bargain shopping...

Let's be honest, I would completely run out of healthy recipes and 
would become a giant fat blob without Kelly...

I wouldn't receive sweet, sweet packages in the mail from my adorable Kentucky frands ;)

I wouldn't know A) what a "DSLR" camera is and B) how the heck to use one...
(Let's be honest here-I'll never know how to use my camera like this woman can!)
The one & only...ShayBayBay <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">
I wouldn't know any Lil' Wayne lovers from Bawstin who can do the strangest things with her mouth and fingers (that's not weird, is it?!)\

So pretty much, I'd be lost. I'd have way to much time on my hands, I'd probably become some crazy wife who spends every second of every day cleaning house and doing laundry. I'd probably be in better shape and possibly take up something interesting like sewing or baking.

But then again, having that much time on my hands would just be downright wrong!
So here's to blogging! Hope you've met some new friends today. :)


August 6, 2012

Beach Necessities

While I realize this post may make a lot of people bitter, I really just can't help myself. Honestly, it makes me a little bitter just writing this while I sit behind a desk in a suit and heels...you're not alone, people.

 One whole month from today I'll be on an airplane with my love, my in-laws and some of our very best friends heading to Kauai to witness a perfect couple tie the knot. One. Flipping. Month.

Which is ironic because on the exact same day we're leaving this year marks exactly one year since we left for Oahu last year. Now if we can just hit up Maui next year and the big island the next, we'll be doing good. #yeahright #inmydreams #wecantaffordvacationandahouseinthesameyear

Oh sorry. Got a little hash tag crazy there for a minute...back to the topic at hand.

.:Kauai:.
This may or may not be our view for a solid week.

Y'all. I can't stand it. Mentally...I'm already packed and I know you are all just dying to know what exactly I'll be packing. (Come on...you know you are...)





1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Oh and if anyone is interested in buying me something for my trip, I'm totally lusting over these gems:


Just a few necessities, right?
Now if I can manage to get my suitcase UNDER 50 pounds, it'll be an ever-lovin' miracle!

Happy Monday, friends!

August 3, 2012

Friday's letters & one super awkward picture

Dear Friday:
I've decided you get a letter every week because you downright rock my socks off. You, my friend, make the world go round and if it were up to me, we'd have two Friday's a week. 

...Oh wait-I've already taken care of that.

Dear allergies/sinuses/whatever I have going on right now:
this sneezing, coughing, draining thing isn't my best look. If you could take up real estate in someone else's immune system, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Dear Ryan:
Yes. Please. Thank you. And GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Dear Duck Face Haters United:
HATE ON THIS!

Dear Kauai:
You and I have a date in 34 days and I don't know HOW I'm going to stand it. A week in paradise with all of our closest friends, watching two lovebirds tie the knot...ya...the countdown is ON. (Sidenote: I can NEVER spell Kauai right!! It always ends up either "Kuaia" or "Kawaii" or something way off...)

Dear Pregnant Co-Worker:
I really am so incredibly excited for you and your little bean and your growing belly but this morning sickness, exhaustion, weight gain, migraine thing sounds like an awful idea. Thanks for terrifying me even more.
If this doesn't freak the HECK out of Beau, I don't know what will.

...aaaaaand I'm gonna go ahead and end these letters on that awkward note.
***
Link up!

August 2, 2012

ShAkE that moneymaker

Iono about y'all but I am one nosey son-of-a-biscuit-eater when it comes to other people's business. (Hence why I blog...) So when I saw the Bargain Blonde was starting a link-up to share what we all do for our "real jobs", I was all over it like white on rice. Or in my case, "brown on rice" because, well, we all know white rice is bad for you...

This leads me right into my job which just so happens to be at a health and wellness center which is also where I discovered that white rice is terrible for you. (Are you taking notes yet?)

Let me back up a little bit...there once was a sorority girl who went to a university in a far away land. 

Siiiike. I went to the University of Houston, which was less than a 45 minutes drive from my hometown. 

...I was close enough to home that if I wanted to come home for the day, I could but yet far enough away to where my parents hated the idea of me commuting in Houston traffic on a daily basis so they insisted they ship me off to college and pay my rent for over 4 years. 

They also funded my trashy Halloween costume(s) that may or may not have consisted of the shortest shorts ever, half of a ripped wife-beater and a sparkly black bra. (Don't forget about the body glitter you see on my décolletage and that mini chandelier that also served as a belly button ring. Gross.)
[Poor Beau was so sick this Halloween!]

I started my college career with the idea of becoming a dentist. That went down the drain real quick since the thought of blood and needles and being in charge of a business AND being in school for 50 freaking years scared the ever-loving daylights out of me. From there, I decided I'd shoot for a dental hygienist because I am obsessed with teeth and it's the next best thing to being a dentist, right? (Ya. Except you make 1/6 the salary.)

I studied my arse off, finished my degree with a Bachelors in Health Promotion and Education in the fall of '08, graduated with high honors, applied to five...yes FIVE hygiene programs and didn't get into a single one. Shot to the heart...yes. (Apparently you have to be valedictorian to be a dental hygienist these days...)

I soon found out dental hygiene was not happnin' which landed me at my first job doing business development for a staffing agency. While I liked my co-workers and loved my boss, I knew all along it wasn't the industry for me.

Insert the Health & Wellness Center. Talk about a dream come true.

In July 2009, I started out as a Vitamin Consultant in the vitamin & supplement department where I counseled our patients on their vitamin regimens and recommended certain supplements for those who had specific ailments. (Sidenote: I work for all natural doctors who treat hormone imbalance and allergies naturally...no drugs involved...)
Some of my team :)

About a year and a half in, I was promoted to Assistant Director, where I still stand today and I can honestly say wholeheartedly, this is where I'm supposed to be. (Granted, if someone asked me if I wanted to be the president tomorrow, I'd jump at the opportunity!)

As the Assistant Director, I spend my days training new Vitamin Consultants, purchasing all of our products, researching new products to bring in (which also includes many, many free samples!), checking in on inventory levels and my favorite thing, running majority of the marketing for the supplement department...anything from email campaigns, to coming up with creative promotions, assisting in event planning, giving presentations to patients and our medical team, and also coordinating some of the social media for the supplement store. So yes-I blog at work 3 times/week and at home 5 times/week. Not gonna lie...it can be a little exhausting at times but I'm passionate about what I do so it makes the blogging part easy! 

My boss is quite possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me, right next to el Presidente...two of the most positive people I've ever met in my life. They've helped me set goals and achieve things I never thought possible and I definitely didn't ever think I'd know half of what I know now...all thanks to them!

It's a small company...about 85-90 employees so we're a pretty tight-knit, likeminded bunch. (Or maybe it's just me?) Not just that...but our company is 97% women. Yes. 97% women. You'd think we resemble that of a sorority or the Stepford wives but it's such an awesome company, it's so not like that. Everyone is very respectful of one another and there's never any petiness.

Imagine the Ritz Carlton combined with a clinic and that's what my office is like. The building is immaculate, our offices are the furnished with the finest furniture and decor and we are required to wear suits and heels on a daily basis. You would think this would be miserable but rest assured...knowing what I'm going to wear every single day makes my life that much easier and I can't imagine wearing anything else! (Even though I'd be perfectly fine wearing scrubs...)

So link up and tell us...what do YOU do to make that money, honey?!

August 1, 2012

Things I'm really bad at


****
So I have to admit...there's something I'm really bad at.

No wait...scratch that...

There are a lot of things I'm really bad at...like golfing, staying awake in movies and sometimes, I have no patience. Who am I kidding...I'm terrible at all of these things but the thing I am the worst at...like absolutely, without a doubt downright BAD is saving money. (Beau can totally attest to this...)

Newsflash: I have no will power when it comes to saving money.

I'll give myself a little bit of credit here...I am good at "cutting costs" by spending less on things like makeup (thank you, Elf!), hair products (thank you, Suave), clothes (thank you, Target), jewelry, etc... and I'm pretty good at not buying something if I don't "need" it even though the need/want devil and I bicker 24/7. (What? Why can't I "need" that pair of Ray Bans I've been lusting over? Sunglasses are a necessity, right? What about a new purse? No? WHY? Fine. No new sunnies or purse for this girl...)

Boo.

I just can't go without buying something...anything. Am I alone here? (Please tell me no.) Everything costs money (duh) and I refuse to sit at home every single day eating cereal in order to save a few bucks. I have a social life that needs tending to...

(You would think saving money would be easy for me knowing my husband is a flippin' financial advisor but then again, who wants to actually listen to their spouse...) ;) Kidding...kinda.

So here's my proposition...I beg you for ideas on how YOU save money and you leave me comments with your ideas. Deal? Yes-I'm begging you! We've got a mortgage coming our way in less than 6 months and an ENTIRE friggin' house to furnish...on top of all other expenses, vacations, holidays, etc...

...and none of this "grow a money tree" stuff. I've done research and they DO NOT exist.

You get mah drift...sister needs help like yesterday...

July 31, 2012

12 HUNSKY?

Well well well...I've been a busy little bee all gosh darn day and for the first time ALL day today, I take look at my blog (yes, at 9:09 PM to be exact) and see this little number appear:

LIKE WHOA.

Where did all 1,200 of you come from and why on Earth would you follow a girl who blogs about an Olympic village full of whores and condoms and wanting to be a flower delivery girl when she retires?

If you, too, are questioning yourself, you're not alone...I'm always wondering the same thing.

But in the mean time, from the bottom of my heart...THANK YOU.

I have met so many incredible friends, like Katie, ShalynErica and so many more, through this little community of ours and I am so so SO thankful for that. I really don't know what I would do my time if I didn't blog? (Hmm here's a thought...maybe work out more? Cook more? Clean more? Read more? But we all know that would make for a farrr to productive Stephanie so we'll just stick with what I know. Err-what I think I know...which is blogging. Maybe not?)

Ok foreals. I love y'all.

PS-if you didn't already know (which I'm sure you do)...Kelle Hampton is preggo again!! So help me GOD that she creates another beautiful human being like sweet Nella!! (Is it just me or does anyone else feel like they "know" a celebrity when they talk about Kelle?! It's like you know her, but you don't, But you do! Buuuut you don't...) ;)


Yes I stole that picture from her blog. I was her 500th comment on this post...it's only fair. Can we say "cutest knocked up chick EVER?"

Ok really. BYE.

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