June 14, 2012

All the single ladies

all the single ladies...
all the single ladies...

{Picture me dancing around like Beyonce in a black leotard and heels.}
Yaaaa buddy...

Ok so foreal...this post is {obviously} for the single ladies.

Yes...I'm talking about YOU sitting here reading this wishing you had that pretty little rock on your hand, cussing your boyfriend every time another couple gets engaged and welling up with tears every time you see a bride walking down that aisle because you just know, that one day, that bride will be you.

Trust me. 
I've been there.

I've been that girl all teary eyed wondering what my big day would turn out to be like, wishing I had a princess cut diamond ring my left hand and cringing every single time I heard about someone else getting engaged.

I was that girl who thought "Is he ever going to ask???"
My mom was that mother who thought "He's never going to ask..."

Well ladies, clearly...he asked.
But did I ever tell you it took 5 1/2 years??
Yes. FIVE POINT FIVE YEARS to put a ring on it.
(I mean, obviously he knew right away...he just needed to find the perfect stone...psssssh)

All seriousness aside: This would be our very first picture...on our very first "date"
...if that's what you wanna call it...8 years ago...

...and by "date" I mean underage drinking at a bar called "Pink Monkey"
and doing keg stands on the dance floor. Someone obviously had a little growing up to do...
{Be proud mom...I was such a class act back in the day...}

Enough about that...

We looked at engagement rings for damn near close to a year.
I knew exactly what I wanted the first week we looked.
I got my hopes up so many times only to be let down just about every single time...
Would he do it on our 5 year anniversary? What about New Years Eve? Would I find a ring in my dessert one night? Nope...it was the day BEFORE Valentine's day...the day-freaking-before Valentine's day. Talk about throwin' a girl off...

So anyways...my message to you is this: it doesn't matter how long you've been dating someone. When you know, you know and it doesn't matter if it takes 6 months or 6 years. So many couples have so many different circumstances as to why it takes longer than others...too young, too broke, too immature, too far away...the list goes on and on. Stop comparing yourself to the "social norm". Who says you have to get married before a certain age? Have kids before a certain age? That's right...NO ONE.

Take it from me. 
Take it from someone who's "been there".
A girl who went through what I like to call "hell and back" for a frat boy who took FIVE AND A HALF loooonnnnng years to get down on one knee.

The knee dropped. The ring was there. There were tears of joy and maybe even a few "This is a joke"s...It came. It went and now I've been married for over 1 year now. I was engaged over two and a half years ago.

Like WHOA.

The whole engagement/wedding process goes by so gosh darn fast so I don't want you girls to go off wishin' it away. Your time will come and though it will be one of the most exciting times of your life, it's gone in the blink of an eye and then you're just stuck being an old married hag.

Kidding...about the hag part.
What I meant to say is that you're just stuck being a hot married trophy wife...duh.

(Kristen...look familiar?!) ;)
But foreals...look how much all you single girls still have to look forward to!! Picking out rings, seeing the love of your life down on one knee (or in my case, lunging on one knee...), picking out flowers and venues and trying on your very first wedding dress. What about seeing your groom for the first time? Sharing your first kiss and singing to each other as you two-step to your first dance? Gosh dangit you have SO much excitement coming your way and you don't even know it. 

Don't get me wrong, I L-O-V-E being married. It's like a permanent slumber party with your best friend in between picking up their stinky socks and cleaning up their dirty dishes. And though I still have really exciting milestones in my future like building a house, having babies and growing old together, I still ask...err-BEG Beau to let us get married again...like every single day. He thinks I'm nuts (and perhaps he's 90% right) but there's just something so romantic about hearing the guy you love profess his love for you in front of every last person you know. And being in a diamond white dress with a fluffy little veil on your head ain't so bad either..

So be patient, my little grasshopper. Realize all that you DO have in your near future and don't wish it past you. Obviously, if your man-candy didn't want to marry you, he wouldn't waste his time, money or sanity on you and one day...you WILL be that girl. <3

Just my words of wisdom...take it for what it's worth. ;)


  1. I got engaged on the day before Valentine's Day too, in 2009! Which fell on....Friday the 13th!!! For the love. Again, talk about throwing a girl off :) But now we just consider Friday the 13ths "good luck" days :)

  2. I'm new to your blog and let me just say that you're stuck with me!!! You have no idea how touched I am by this post. I ALWAYS knew I'd be married by the time I was 22-23 and have babies by the time I was 25. Here I am months away from being 27 and I'm SINGLE. Funny how God works. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for your encouraging words this morning!

  3. I loooove hearing you gush about weddings! You really know how to remind us about what really matters when it comes to weddings and being married. Great post Steph!! And for those who are waiting for him to pop the question, my husband wouldn't even TALK about the POSSIBILITY of being married until we were engaged. SO if he's ATLEAST talking, then you're on the right track. ;) Don't rush things!

  4. I am a long time reader/lover of your blog, first time commenting. This post struck such a cord with me and I'm so happy someone finally said these things! As a single just turned 27 year old I'm watching so many friends get married, start having babies and all that and sometimes I have to tell myself don't rush, you still have so much to look forward to. Thanks for reminding me!

  5. O girl! You hit the nail on the head with this one. Just exactly what the single ladies need to hear. I was single for 6 YEARS.... Yes, 6 years... all 4 years of college.. I cried. I wondered if something was wrong with me.. the whole deal.. You know when I met Kendol? The week before college graduation. God had a plan.. just like he does for all the single ladies out there!!

  6. Love this! HAHA I didn't know you and Beau were together for that long! Jake and I were together for 6 years before he proposed!!! Silly frat boys. :)

  7. Did you write this for me?!?!?! haha

    No seriously?!

    On the reals! I love the "trophy wife" pic and all the other pics from that night! bahahah!

  8. I love this, but what about the girls who are nowhere near getting engaged and just plain single? Haha that's me!

    For the Record

  9. My fiance and I were together 6 years before he finally asked. AND he did it the week before Christmas. I was totally thrown off! Thanks for posting this. I have so many friends in this position and I know this is what they need to hear. :)

  10. I really enjoyed this post, Stephanie! I've read your blog for a while now and this is my first time commenting, but I just wanted to let you know your encouraging words mean a lot. It reminds me of a quote I saw on Pinterest "What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet."
    I'm definitely guilty of catching myself trying to predict when Billy will pop the question. I cant wait to plan a wedding, buy a house, and then eventually start a family. But all that stuff is going to come eventually..there really is no need to rush it. I want to spend this time enjoying each other without all the stresses that come along with all of the above!
    Love your keg stand pictures! I know we're all guilty of having a few of those stashed away somewhere : )

  11. So sweet and true!! If I had a dime for every person who asked me "I thought he would propose in Hawaii" I would be a rich woman! I know he is waiting for a perfect time to really catch me off guard!!

  12. I can beat you (just barely!). My husband waited 7 years and 9 odd months since starting to date me to ask me to marry him. We were 16 when we met, but still...I was the LAST one of my close friends to get married and now I'm almost the last one to have kids. Because I waited so long for the ring, I have to tell you not a day goes by that I don't look at that engagement ring and feel grateful to have him in my life. I appreciate it in a way that all those 22 year olds getting to move straight from the sorority house to their husband's house can't (I moved back in with my parents to save money...talk about a long 3 years!). It was worth the wait!

  13. um, I totally thought - is this for kristen?? hahaha. Oh KK

  14. I am in NO hurry to get married... but man oh man would I like to find a guy I could call my best friend and still want to ummm love on? (I tried really hard to think of the best way to say that)

    I can still be totally envious of what you and Beau have right? and of the fact that you've met Shay and DDHP?

    k good : )


  15. whoaaa nelly, thank YOU for this!! i definitely needed to hear it and trust me- it's SO good to hear. you and yo mannn are precious together by the way, even if it took him 5.5 years to put a ring on it ;)

  16. Just like the 1st commentor here, I got engaged on February 13th, 2009 which was Friday the 13th. My H received the ring that day and didn't want to pop the question on valentines day. So, he took me to the restaurant we had our first date at which had a cozy fireplace in it. Perfect!

    I love how well you wrote this whole thing, because there is SOOO much to look forward to once the ring comes. It's all amazingness (and sometimes stress lol) but it goes by sooooo fast. Enjoy every second of it ladies!

  17. I was one of those girls that thought he was never going to ask. My husband proposed after being together 8 years. We got married 5 days before our NINE year anniversary!! Talk about a wait!! It was worth it though. I also ask my husband just about every day if we can get married again. We both LOVED our wedding day and had a blast all day long. When else do you get every person that you love and he loves together for one big party!? Definitely the best day of my life!

  18. This makes me feel super silly for having those envy "pangs" of seeing people get engaged who had dated for a shorter time than us. We got engaged less than 2 and a half years after first meeting, and are planning an October 2013 wedding. I find myself saying "OMG 16 months feels like an ETERNITY away" but this reminds me to ENJOY it, because at midnight on our wedding night as I'm taking off that BEAUTIFUL dress, I'll find myself wishing it was April 2012 again and we had JUST gotten engaged and that I could do it all over again. Alas. I'll enjoy it now, while I can!

  19. Girl, you crack me up every time I come visit! You have a way, like no other, with your words. Even though this "grandma" has been married almost 12 years, I think this is perfect for all the "Single Ladies" out there.

  20. Oh hello, mrs. insightful. Personally I think 4-5 years is the norm. LOL I mean billhead did take that long too. It's totally different though when you are in college dating the person! that doesn't even count bc lets be honest I wasn't about to get married before I graduated! holler.

  21. awww I love thiss .. I am getting to feel this way (about 4 years into our relationship) and I am getting the "itch" lol .. I have about 7 weddings I will be attending in the next year and a half and none of them are mine lol ... but thanks for the cute post I really enjoyed lady!!


  22. wow! seriously perfect post for my life..T and I have been together for over 4 years and I just die a little in side everytime I see someone else is engaged. Such a sweet post...thanks for the encouragement definitely needed it :)

  23. Okay, no lie girl I feel like you just put a spotlight on me and said all this just for me. I know you didn't and that's crazy, but this is exactly why I read your blog faithfully. You never miss a beat and you talk and make marriage seem what I've always dreamed I'd be like.

    I know it has ups/downs but if you continually work hard at it, then it is just as beauiful as you dreamed and you can TELL that you two are so in love.

    I just met B less than a year ago, but we already have been looking at rings and making plans. When you know, YOU KNOW. And I'm SO blessed to have him in my life. I'm 28 years old and really was starting to worry about "my happy ever after".

    Thanks SOOOO much for this post. Honestly. I even just sent my man the link to go read. No lie.

  24. Girl, I feel like you wrote this post just for me!! I been with my bf for 7.5 years, we've look at rings for the past year.. but nothing has happened.. and I get all upset bc some of my friends get engaged after dating for only a year.. ugh! Anyway thanks for putting it all into perspective for me :)

  25. love this girl! scottie andi have been together for 5 years now and i swear every happy huor we go to, every wedding, every blogger co-ed party hehe i am asked when this is happening! of course i ask myself allllll the time but i know its all on circumstances and it really does not matter to me cause when i DO get engaged and then married i'll be wishing it could al be in slow motion to just enjoy it all :) xoxo love you and beau and reading these stories of 5-9 years before tying the knot def gives me hope!

  26. Fun post, thanks for sharing. I'm actually THAT girl who isn't in a rush to get engaged. Trust me, I want to get married, but it will only be 2 years next month for me and my guy.

    I'm more annoyed with people saying "wedding bells soon?", you're next, have you looked at rings?!?!

    I will never be just a girlfriend again, so why rush. I want to enjoy dating before the rush of nerves with engagement and planning a wedding.

    I can't wait, but am taking my sweet time!


  27. in about 1 month, i will be THAT GIRL, 5.5 years later. come on Kurty hahah

    omg vintage beau and steph. holy crap you guys are still sooooo adorable

    i really needed to hear this! you know the story...im still waitin and wishin an hopin and i loved reading this

    i think our thing is we want to save money and be able to have the wedding we want and still be able to go on weekend trips and vacations and blogger vacations :-)

    loved this steph :-)


  28. Well said! 5 years for the question here... Well worth the wait.

  29. first off: new follower/blogger here :)

    secondly: this was such a sweet & thoughtful post! it definitely hit home with me. i've been dating my bf for 3 years although we first met in 6th grade (aww!). i'm definitely not in a rush but for the first time in my life a lot of people i know are starting to get engaged/married. sometimes i think i just want to be engaged and wear the ring and do all the fun wedding planning stuff but postpone the actual wedding because it still makes me a little nervous (not because i'm not head over heels in love, but because i hate to be the center of attention ever!).

    anyway - you and beau are SUPER cute and so lucky to have each other. you guys have so much to look forward to & nobody said you guys couldn't get remarried every year if you want to! :)

  30. Great post! Where was this when I was waiting and waitttting for the Mister to pop the question?! We were together for 9 (!) years before we got engaged. Guess that's what happens when you start dating when you are 14 and 17, ha!

  31. Just started reading your blog recently and I am always entertained!! :) this post is so sweet, thanks from a single lady myself <3

  32. Sigh...I think I needed that kick in the pants. I'm THAT GIRL. Once I knew he was saving, and then we went to look at rings, I started impatiently tapping my foot, waiting. I realize that I need to be enjoying my time with him. So, thanks for this.

  33. I've read your blog from time to time but over the past two weeks I swear I've read it every other day (and haven't commented because I'm a lurker) but I had to say this post really made my day! My guy and I have been together for 2.5 years and won't live together before marriage. I don't think I'm ready for that and I know he doesn't buy I've been feeling so much pressure to get engaged because everyone is doing it. I know he is the one and were happy so I should really shut my inner pie hole and just enjoy our relationship. I haven't started being the annoying where's my ring chick but just yesterday I was planning my big speech ;)

    Love your blog girl! Thanks for this post!

    Ps I'm creepin on my iPhone underneath my desk at worth so if this doesn't make sense...,sorry!!!

  34. I LOVE this so much. Thank you for this post! I'm a single lady and am loving it but Pinterest and Blogland have really made me envious of all these wedding plans. Then I stop myself and remember to stop wishing my life away and enjoy now. Wonderful post!

  35. I LOVE your insight on this! I was totally "that" girl until December 23, 2011 when my man finally popped the question! I wanted so badly to get engaged and plan our wedding, and I thought many times that it was about to happen...and then I kept waiting, and waiting. haha. I was SO happy when we got engaged, but I must say that time has FLOWN by since we started wedding planning. We're a little less than 4 months away from the big day now, and I just can't believe time has gone by this quickly. I know for a fact that I'm really going to miss all of the engagement and wedding excitement once it's gone...but I also know that I'm thrilled to spend the rest of my life with my best friend by my side. :)

  36. Oh lordy, we could be BFFs. I got engaged to hubs VERY soon after we met, but AMEN to having a sleepover with your best friend - while also having to clean up their mess, haha.

    I also beg hubs dearest to redo our wedding. Over and over again. Just without the stress.

    I found you through Whitney's blog @ The Observant Turtle! Hope to get to know you better & that I see you at the H-Town Blogger Meet-Ups!

  37. You made me tear up a bit when you said it goes by so fast. Sometimes I find myself wishing for the wedding part to already be here because of how much "stress" it takes to put it all together, but I know you are right! I know it'll go by as quick as getting engaged came (I still can't believe I am engaged sometimes!!) and I need to soak this all in. Thanks for the reminder :)

    P.S. Beau is a lucky guy!!

  38. I don't think you have said it any better. I am THAT girl with no ring on her finger. All my best girlfriends are ALL married and have been for atleast a year and 2 of them have babies already. I always thought I would get engaged at 21 and married by 22. HA! I didn't find my prince charming until I was 22. Thank you for writing this! You are very wise. I love reading your blog. It is too fun and too cute! :)

  39. I agree with Katie, in college I think 4+ years is normal, I don't get it when couples get married while in college?! Jer and I dated 4.5 years before getting engaged and then were engaged over a year and a half before getting married. I'm with you, I'd lOve to do it all over again!! Every anniversary I try to explain why we need to renew our vows! Haha so far no luck! We are celebrating 3 years on Tuesday. :)

  40. Do you ever read someone's blog and out of the blue their post hits home? Well girl, today you hit home for me! I will have been dating my college sweetheart for 7 years in October. We've recently found THE RING and now I'm waiting... and waiting... and waiting. So your post today just reminded me to enjoy the small things and this anticipation while it's happening (even though it's killing me!) So thanks for the reality check, it came at the perfect time for me. Love your blog!!!

  41. 5 1/2 years is good!! My boyfriend's brother waiting 12 years....YES you read that right...12 stickin years!! Now THAT'S a long time! I've also had other older friends waiting 7, 8, 9 years! Insane. I couldn't wait that long!

  42. this is too cute! jason got to the point that he would head to the bathroom every time we were out and single ladies came on. poor guy.

  43. steph i love you for this post!! every once in a while it's nice to hear this side of it instead of all the posts about the flowers that were bought for you or the breakfast in bed he made or the impromptu trip to cabo or the bear's breath of hog's nipple perfume he bought you....you keep it real girlfriend and i like it ;) and you deserve all the happiness in the world with your man. love at first keg stand!! haha muah!

  44. Loved this post, but I'm afraid I've been waiting too long! A milestone birthday will be happening later this month for me and I'm still one of the single ladies. I try to enjoy all the fun, single girl, no kids joys in life but I find myself longing for that man to spend time with. Sad thing is, I'm pretty sure all the single, good job carrying, live on his own, good guys (with no kids)around here are taken!!
    One of these days....I have faith!

  45. Stephanie!! I love this post :) I have a close friend (my MOH) who is dying for a ring, and I've said these exact words to her. Sometimes things in life aren't worth rushing. As I'm getting closer to my Wedding Day (15 days - eeek) I'm find myself wanting to relive this last year, and our proposal, and the overall giddyness of the engagement. It's such a fun (and stressful) time! :)

    Needless to say, you are a GENIUS :) xoxo

  46. awesome post Stephanie. I am one of the girls not falling in the "social norm". Atleast I think so. I'll be 29 when we get married and I've become OK with that. Your post has made me want to slow and down and enjoy this process of planning our wedding so much more. I can't wait for that day though, like you said, to hear him vow to love me for the rest of his life in front of our family and friends. And to see him from the other end of the aisle!!! ahhh, I can't wait :)

  47. You couldn't be more spot on! With Matt & I just being engaged err... 1 week & 1 day now, I can honestly say that people shouldn't wish away those precious, fun, innocent times of being boyfriend & girlfriend! We've been together almost 3 1/2 years & a little over 4 by the time we get married. I've known since we very first got together that he was "the one" for me... I also knew that I had to be very patient with him. He's a guy who moves to his own rhythm & DEFINITELY doesn't like being pushed into things! I look back on our relationship & am so thankful for the length of time we've had together & just enjoying our lives & all the fun we've had! I can't wait to marry my one true love but, I also look forward to all the fun planning moments & enjoying our engagement! Great post chicka!

  48. I thought 4 years was a long time to wait. I would have kicked him in the butt by 5.5 years. Men...I tell ya!

  49. wow things really move slow these day! I met steph's dad in november1983. Blind date. Flew from Tennessee to Texas to meet him! Love at first sight. I was a whole 21 years old! Moved to Texas in February 1984. Engaged in may. Married in October. I never ever regretted it!

    18 months later steph arrived. 3-1/2 years later chris arrived. Best things in my life!

    We were married over 24 years. Best days of my life. It wasn't perfect by any means but honestly dating sucks!

    I hope one day to be married again but I won't just settle for anyone just to be married. I don't want someone I can live with, I want someone can't live without.

    So hang in there ladies..... I'm hangin right there with ya!

    And steph, nothing you tell me or any crazy pics I see surprise me! If anything, I'm so glad you had a great time growing up! I always knew you'd turn out fine. In fact you have exceeded my expectations!

    I love ya steph!

    Momma J

  50. I love this post. So many girls need to read this!! I love the part about how fast it truly goes.. I will be married in less than 5 months! Crazy!


  51. I totally ask my husband and tell him that we need to get married again at five years lol.

  52. I love this post....and your momma's comment. So sweet!!

  53. I want to get married some day, I really do, but I can't tell you how crazy it makes me when people ask me when. We did things "backwards" and had twins before we got married and now people think we need to hurry up and get married. But I still turn into that teary-eyed mess wondering what my wedding will be like!


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