On How to Stay in Love...

Let's just begin this by saying I am in no way, shape or form any type of marriage counselor. I have no fancy credentials and, in fact, you may be surprised to know I am not any kind of counselor. Actually, I haven't even been married for 2 years yet so if you don't accept the advice I'm about to provide you with, I totally get it. If you do, however, appreciate my advice, just call me Dr. Drew and feel free to stick a check in the mail to the address below.

Kidding.

There is no address. And I'd prefer to be called Dr. Howard. Mmmmkay?

I should also say my marriage is FAR from perfect.  Like, real far. We're only 22 months into this whole marriage biz and just like anything else, it takes a lot of hard work, compromise, good communication and wine. Lots of wine.

Slight warning: this gets mushy. (Don't say I didn't warn you!)

My take on...how to STAY in love:

1. Separate the problems between the tensions.

Problems are things like your spouse being abusive or addicted to porn. (I think we can all agree these are both HUGE problems.)

Tensions, on the other hand, are little things; leaving the toilet seat up, not picking up his shoes when you've asked him 16 times, or leaving dirty dishes in the sink for 2 days straight. (Hmmm...does that sound familiar, Beau Howard?) ;)

The difference between the two is that tensions aren't worth losing any sleep over. Problems ARE. Know the difference between something so measly as a tension in an effort to not create more problems. Pick your battles and fight fair.

Are those dishes in the sink really worth another stupid argument?

I mean, who can stay mad at that face?! ;)

2. Offer and accept daily affections.

This is HUGE in our house. Something as small as holding hands when you're on the couch or in the car, playing with each other's hair or a quick brush up against one another when he's washing said dishes. Sometimes it's as simple as a kiss on the cheek or even a flirty text! Flirting with each other is important. Scratch that...it's essential. You did it before you got married and there's no reason you shouldn't continue to do it after you get married. Let your guy know you still want him...and only him. ;)

3. Have some fun!

A happy heart is contagious! When you smile, your spouse smiles. When you laugh, your spouse laughs. Laughter is the best medicine so even in the toughest times, make sure you keep each other smiling as much as possible. Be spontaneous and make an honest effort to genuinely enjoy each other's company. Marriage is forever and in my humble opinion, I'd like to have fun forever.

4. Establish positive rituals.

I LOVE this one. When you go to bed, kiss each other goodnight. When you wake up, grab their hand and tell them good morning. When you leave for the day or even just to run to the grocery store, tell each other "goodbye" with a sweet, simple kiss and a hug. Most couples do this and don't even realize it so if that's you, give yourself a pat on the back. If you need help in this arena, it's ok! Just try it! I promise your man will be pleasantly surprised with your newfound habit!

The good news is that it's never too late to establish any of these into your relationship! And with tomorrow being Valentine's Day, what a more perfect time to start staying in love?!

Relationships are work, a LOT of work, so when you look around at other people's marriages/relationships and start to think "They have more sex than we do, make more money than we make, have more fun than we have, etc...", remind yourself that the grass is always greener where you water it.

Take time to water your relationship.

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And because I love you ALL (yes...ALL of you!) and because I couldn't possibly mail out 1,700+ Valentine's Day cards...I hope you'll except my small gift:

Well...not my small gift because I didn't create it but I did, indeed, find it here.
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Now get out there and love someone, wouldya!?