I'm just going to throw this out there and say that people can be mean. Downright flipping mean.
There's not one incidence that has caused the writing of this post but it's just something I've thought about long and hard for a while now and, well hey, since this is my blog, I assume I can write about it.
The long of the short of it is...we live in a world that is so critical, so quick to judge, so tempted to be jealous rather than happy for other's fortunes and successes and it disgusts me.
Don't get me wrong. I've judged. I've been critical before. I've been envious over others. I'm no saint here so perhaps this is serving as a reminder to myself, too, but what I do know is that since losing my dad and facing many recent hardships in life, is that everyone is fighting their own battle.
Everyone.
The family who looks picture perfect, goes on lavish vacations twice a year and lives in a really beautiful home...they've got problems.
The stay-at-home mom whose kids look like angels, whose husband is "the breadwinner" and who drives really nice cars...they have issues.
The girl at work you barely know but is so sweet and caring, gets promotion after promotion, and seems to have it all together...sure, she has problems, too.
Yet when they mess up, show their real lives or do/say something you don't necessarily agree with, we criticize them like we don't suffer from our own faults, our own slip ups and our own imperfections.
When you think about, who wants to hear someone talk about everything negative going on in their world? That's right, no one! It's not that these people are trying to be perfect, or trying to portray this life that isn't real...simply put, they would rather focus on the positive things going right in their lives, rather than the negative.
If all I wrote about on here was how miserable my day was, how I'm stressed about family issues going on right now, how I yelled at Beau for absolutely nothing the other night, how my house is a complete wreck or how terrible Oakley has been lately, would you really want to come back? Probably not...and I don't blame you! I wouldn't want to read about that either!
The point of all this is that whether it be in real life, work life, blog life, social media life, whatever...none of us are perfect. The next time someone does something (good or bad), or says something (good or bad), or looks a certain way (good or bad), or feels down about something or is just genuinely happy about something going on in his/her life, let them be however the heck they want to be and you continue being whatever the heck you want to be. Rather than judging or being envious over someone else's life, be happy they're trying to live the life they want to live and you continue being happy living the life you want to live.
I don't know where this is going anymore, but what I do know is this is always an excellent reminder to me when I need it most:
#truth
Now go. Focus on your life and be happy for others. That's all for today.
Only one word comes to mind when I read this...AMEN!!!! This is so very well written!!!!! I couldn't agree with you more!!!! And congratulations on your pregnancy!!!
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more! I just wrote about this recently as well. My blog is a documentation and diary of what is currently going on in my life. I want to remember the positive & fun things. I think it's important to stay real and share the struggles with the good times. Just with a major emphasis of fun. :)
ReplyDeleteLove this! I had the exact same thought the other day after a series of negatives things and the last one finally broke the straw. We have a perception of 'perfect', in this world, that isn't realistic. Therefore, when someone strays from the path and has a bad day, perhaps an outburst, or you forgot to bring in that assignment because a water pipe burst and you ran out of time - well you still should of had it done. We can't juggle everything and sometimes people don't get that!
ReplyDeleteAmen!!! P.S. you are officially the CUTEST pregnant girl ever. You stole my title! ha!
ReplyDeleteA lady I work with is constantly complaining and always negative. It got to the point where I had to start avoiding her because I couldn't handle it any longer! I just kept thinking "goodness gracious can't you ever be happy for others?" Now, if she happens to talk to me about someone "being rude
ReplyDelete" or "being short with their conversation" I usually just say "may be they are having a bad day" and continue on. Great post!
I think this is something we all struggle with! I know I do. I appreciate you putting it so excellently into words! Have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteso so soo true! :)
ReplyDeleteI love that you wrote this post. That quote is stuck on my computer screen here at work to remind me that even though they may come in and take their bad day out on me, that I need to remember I don't know what they are dealing with before or after they see me. Great post, girl!
ReplyDeleteActually, I have to disagree with one thing...if you wrote about a stressful day or that your puppy was misbehaving or even yelling at your husband for no reason, it wouldn't stop me from continuing to read your blog. I think it humanizes a person and humanizes their blog. Obviously, it is just that - your blog - but I think that, at least for me, I would rather read a "real life" blog than one that is all sunshine and unicorns and glitter 24/7. That's just my opinion:)
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with humanizing a blog and not being all sunshine and unicorns 24/7, but if I wrote about bad days, yelling at my husband and my dog misbehaving every single day, I can guarantee you wouldn't want to read about that. I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting to read about that! Perhaps it's just me but I can't stand constantly reading about negativity. Again-I agree with being human and showing your imperfect side, too, but there's too much negative in the world as it is, which is why I try to keep things light around these parts.
DeleteAmazing post! I feel this way all the time and I just want to shout from the rooftops that you don't know what is going on in people's lives! Being a 5th grade teacher, I try to tell me kids that you can't be rude to people because you don't know what is going on in their life. Words to live by. And you're completely right...EVERYONE has SOMETHING going on in their life.
ReplyDeletethis is so perfect and really what I've been wanting to tell others too. spread sunshine not hate. : )
ReplyDeletePreach sister, preach! I promise I wouldn't stop reading if you wrote about "the uglies," as I call them, every so often. I'm guessing you're getting a free pass on yelling at Beau these days. Ex: "Take out the trash! I'm carrying your baby!" or "I need some coffee please. I'm carrying your baby!!!"
ReplyDelete;) I tease. Have a good weekend.
Ugh I hear ya! People seem to be so quick to judge and find the negatives out of evvvverything. It's exhausting. And a tad bit sad.
ReplyDeleteI so very much needed this little reminder today, thank you! It really makes you stop in your tracks and change your whole perspective on, well, everything.
ReplyDelete"When you think about, who wants to hear someone talk about everything negative going on in their world? That's right, no one! It's not that these people are trying to be perfect, or trying to portray this life that isn't real...simply put, they would rather focus on the positive things going right in their lives, rather than the negative."
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY AGREE. Sure, I may have things in my life that go wrong because everyone does. Some things I have shared and some I keep private, because it doesn't need to be out there. I'm the type of person that tries to be positive all of the time and see something positive in every situation even if it is negative. I just hate that other people see that as being fake or not genuine.
why yes I am a stay at home mom and my sugar daddy does bring home the monies so I can drive nice cars. But issues? me?! ISSUES?!?!? Never.
ReplyDeleteBUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Very well said!! It is so true that people can be too judgmental and downright mean! Thank you for the reminder as well! We all have crap!!
ReplyDelete(Another) great post, Steph! I think it's easy for people to be kind to one another, but it's so so important! I think jealousy is the main culprit behind most meanness or harshness we have for one another, which is so sad! It shouldn't be so hard to be truly happy for other people's happiness. And I also agree that on my blog I'd much rather focus on the positive than the negative, but I also don't want to portray an unrealistic life. It's a fine balance, for sure!
ReplyDelete- Lisa
http://thebenroecks,com
Love this... & it couldn't be more true! I struggle being around such negative & rude people. I wish everyone could try more to see the positives in everything/everyone. Happy Friday!!
ReplyDeleteTOTALLY AGREE!! :-) Thank you thank you thank you for writing about it! Have a super Friday! :-)
ReplyDeletelove this pan doramas
DeleteI was nodding my head through this whole post. I was always taught to be nice to people because you never know what's going on in their lives and it's served me well over the years because I became friends with people I could have made snap judgements about.
ReplyDeletei agree with you 110%. my mom always told me no one is ever happy for you the way you are for them. its so sad, but true- the only people who ever support you are your family and your core friends. i've been meaning to address this on my blog for MONTHS now. im glad you said something to give me some non-baby material ;) xoxo
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. I can not understand how anyone sits down to comment on a blog post and leaves a mean message. Why waste their time?!
ReplyDeleteAnd the one super nice thing I have found about blogging is it makes you look for the postives in life. You want to write happy things so you seek to find the best part of a bad day!
Exactly! I have a friend who deleted Instagram because (she said) everyone was too fake on there. Well, who the heck wants to post pictures of their dirty laundry - literal or figurative? I think everyone should put their best face forward!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! I feel like it has only gotten worth since I became a mom too...sitting down thinking that everyone else has it together, but they don't! Everyone has their own battles - just different ones!
ReplyDeleteI love this post!!! You never know what goes on behind closed doors and why do we make it our place to judge others?!?!?! Great post!!!!
ReplyDeleteTotally true! Great post. Been thinking about just that recently! I hope that what ever the goodies are that are making your days grey soon turn into bright sunshiny days. I have been reading your sweet blog for some time now (all the way across the ocean from South Africa), and love the preggie updates ... :)
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more girl, and I've been thinking about this and blogging about it for a while... We are all human, we all make mistakes and we all have bad days but our blogs also aren't all for negativity and airing dirty laundry with every post! We definitely show some of our "bad" sides when we write posts like these or asking for prayer or when days are tough but the constant moans would be too much for most readers! I hate that so many feel they are mighty of judging others when they aren't perfect either... Thank you for sharing this today, just what so many of us needed x
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you! People are all too quick to judge. If you only blog about the good in your life, you must be fake. If you constantly blog about negativity, you're a horrible person. It's a never ending cycle.
ReplyDelete...And this is exactly why I come to ready your blog weekly. Your spirit is so genuine and pure! It's women like you that make the world a better place and I admire you for that. Many blessings to you, beau and the family! Never let ANYONE dull that sparkle of yours!!!!
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