The Real 1st Trimester Survival Guide

The first day I found out I was pregnant, I did what any sane woman would do. I ran to Pinterest and immediately searched "1st Trimester Essentials". You know, because Pinterest is like the holy grail of everything...weddings, fashion, makeup, recipes, kids, and obviously...pregnancies.

As I scrolled through the lists of items I just "had to have" for  these first 12 weeks, I got to thinking...what? Why? Ok maybe I'll need that. I already have that. What is that? Where do I even find that? I haven't needed any of this yet...I'll just stick it out and see what I really need.

I hate to be the person to say "I was right" but in this instance, I was right. I didn't need the crackers, or the Tylenol or the Bella Band. I was handed down "What To Expect When You're Expecting" from my sister-in-law (loving that book!) and since I'm already a borderline lip balm hoarder, I had that part covered. (Truth: you WILL need something for your lips. I prefer Aquaphor and I like it applied approximately 306 times per day.)

So...now that I'm out of the first trimester (I think? Does it end after 12 or after 13 weeks? Eh-who knows?), and because I promised to be as open and honest as possible throughout this entire journey, I figured I would go ahead and give you the real 1st Trimester Survival Guide. You know...the stuff that no one tells you that you actually need.

A. Portable toilet
No knocked up chick will ever argue with this one. There's no doubt I've recently found it an extreme necessity to have a toilet installed next to my bed, in my office at home, in my office at work, in my car and next to the treadmill. I swear...half of my daily workouts come from trips to the can. Now back to the toilet next to the bed...who do I need to talk to about that?

B. Folding cot
This one is definitely not questionable either. I've said it before (like a gazillion and one times already) and I'll say it again...the exhaustion is something else. (Sidenote: how did I not EVER know this was a pregnancy symptom? {insert idiot here}) Along with my newly installed portable toilet in every room in the house, I'm now requesting a folding cot to be installed directly next to it. Better yet, perhaps I should invent a cot with a built-in pot? I just came up with that but I really think I'm onto something!

C. Fat pants
Or if you want to still feel somewhat youthful, invest in the VS Boyfriend Pants. Baggy, low rise, non-fitted...you won't hate me for this purchase. And for the record...no-I'm not calling myself "fat" by any means but I'm definitely not feeling "fit" or "thin" anymore. If we're being honest here, "fat" and "fluffy" is exactly how I've felt lately and the last thing I want around my waist is anything tight or fitted. Boyfriend pants are where it's AT.

D. The thickest lotion on the market
My choice: Bath & Body Works "Country Chic" body cream. While I'd like to blame my dry hands on the "winter" we've had lately, I can truthfully say my hands have never been so dry in all my life. I tried just "regular" lotion for a while only to find it was a complete waste of time to even put on. Go with the thick stuff. Trust me.

E. Sparkling cider
Because if you're anything like me and booze just because it's Tuesday, you'll be "fake drinking" in front of any and everyone you know for a good 6-8 weeks. And do you wanna know what sucks? Fake drinking for a good 6-8 weeks.

F. The best sports bra on the market
I prefer Under Armour or Champion because they're tight and the material is thick, but everyone is different. Invest a couple of your favoritist sports bras in all the land and buy them. You will now live in them and your aching girls will thank you.

G. Color Wow root cover up
Because if you're anything like me, the timing will work out just perfectly and you will find out you're pregnant the week you're due for highlights and you'll need something to cover up those nappy roots of yours. I know...I know...many people and doctors say you can still highlight your hair throughout the first trimester but I was a little nervous about it at the very beginning. I ended up using the root cover up until about week 10 and finally ended up apologizing to my unborn child, praying to God that he would let me become a blonde again without affecting my baby and scheduling a hair appointment for the first available opening.

H. Coffee IV
No explanation needed. (And before you get all cray cray on me...yes...I know...you can only have so much caffeine when you're pregnant. Though it may seem this way, I'm not oblivious to the world and choose to stick with just one cup a day.) Though that one cup in pure IV form would be really, really nice and incredibly appreciated at about 3pm every day.

So there you go...everything you'll need for your first trimester in it's true form. You're welcome.