2. What the following abbreviations stand for: U/S, MC, 15w1d, CS, VBAC & NT (ultrasound, miscarriage, 15 weeks 1 day, c-section, vaginal birth after c-section, nuchal translucency...for those of you who are curious...)
3. Knowing you're going to gain weight is a harsh, harsh reality but hey, it's all for the baby so I say, bring it on!
4. Naps will become your newest BFF. Nothing...and I mean nothing...trumps a good nap.
5. So will toilets. Whether you're peeing or tossing up your cookies every 20 minutes, make good ties with your porcelain God. You'll be hanging out quite often.
6. Your boobs. They're going to hurt. Especially for the first 13 weeks, at least. You will want to stab the next person who hugs, or even thinks about hugging you, but don't. No one wants to be the pregnant chick at the county jail. Unless you're Jennelle from Teen Mom, but that's a whole 'nother conversation...
7. People are going to ask quite possibly the dumbest question
8. You WILL get the stinkeye for shoving that third cookie into your piehole. Guaranteed.
9. Friends and family are going to stare at your stomach every single time they see you even though there's nothing to see or feel. Personal space, people. Respect it!
10. The moment your pee stick says "Pregnant", you will immediately begin to encourage all of your girlfriends to follow suit. Heck, no one wants to ride this gravy train alone!
11. Reading and watching pregnancy videos online regarding labor and/or breastfeeding (for me, anyways) will scare the heck out of you. Unlike Nike says, just DON'T do it. Ignorance is bliss for me when it comes to the labor and delivery part and I'd like to keep it that way.
12. Because you don't look or really feel pregnant just yet, you will undoubtedly convince your husband that you need that fetal doppler you saw online. You know...so you can play doctor any time you want and listen to the heartbeat at the drop of a hat.
13. You will think about all things fluffy pillow, cozy blankets, yoga pants and bed-related no less than 79 times per day. You used to watch the clock until 5pm to run off to happy hour with your girlfriends but you will quickly find that your now version of happy hour now happens in your bed and without a margarita.
14. Thanks to #13, your motivation to do anything for the first 12-14 weeks is completely and utterly out the door. Cooking? HA! Cleaning? What's that? Working out? I wish. Actually getting dressed on a random Sunday? Ya. Right...
15. Sure, there are a lot of changes going on and a ton of new things that you're just not used to but at the end of the day, growing a teeny tiny little human inside your belly is not near as bad as I thought it would be. Coming from someone who's terrified of blood, needles, body changes, medical issues, etc...I cannot believe those words just came out of my mouth but it's true.
16. Seeing diapers and baby swings in your soon-to-be nursery is quite possibly one of the most surreal views you could ever imagine.
17. Babies-R-Us is the most overwhelming store you will ever visit and your first few trips there will annoy the hell outta you. On top of not knowing what anything in that store does, means or is, the aisles don't make sense and every single store is laid out completely different. Rest assured...their rocker/glider section will become your favorite spot in the place and if you feel so inclined to do so, prop up your feet and take a cat nap. Afterall, you're pregnant.
18. Maternity clothes are weird and awkward and so unsexy, however, they are an inevitable part of this entire journey. Go ahead...give up your size 4's for all things soft & stretchy...even I've been pleasantly surprised!
19. Its a beautiful ride. It really is. And I pray it continues to stay this way not only for myself, but anyone else out there "with child" or trying to get there. Just enjoy it!
I couldn't believe the amount of people who questioned whether or not this pregnancy was on purpose or not. It was... but even if it wasn't, it's pretty much one of the rudest questions to ask...ever!
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh out loud....so true! And stay away from the labor videos! If you have breastfeeding questions you know I would be more than willing to help....just let me know!
ReplyDeleteYes! Yes! And yes!!! I agree...stay away from the labor videos. I wanted to do the whole ignorance is bliss, but then everyone wanted to give me their horror labor stories and that was just not in my plan. :)
ReplyDeleteI pink puffy heart this post. Some of this gave me the giggles!
ReplyDeleteSo true!! :) I took many a "rest" in the glider section at BRU! HAHAHAHAHA :)
ReplyDeleteSo funny! I identified with SO MANY of these - especially the keeping a secret part!!! I hope you start to feel better very soon!!
ReplyDeleteYes, do not watch labor videos. lol. But definitely educating yourself on BF-ing is a good idea so you feel a little prepared, but I definitely would recommend waiting until the latter end of your pregnancy so you can remember it all. And dear goodness I hate stupid questions. NO, I'M NOT HAPPY. I DON'T WANT THIS CHILD (sarcasm).
ReplyDeleteThose L&D stories and videos can be a pregnant woman's worst enemy!!! Every experience is different, and everyone wants to share the horror stories they've heard, with you!
ReplyDelete100% true, except I cannot bring myself to watch Labor Videos. I saw "Knocked up" and was scarred from the hospital scene. I think that's enough for me!
ReplyDeleteOh I hated how people always looked at the stomach! Just wait til everyone wants to touch it! I'm big on personal space and my MIL always wanted to touch when we'd come to visit. I'd make sure I was holding something in front of my stomach so she couldn't!
ReplyDeleteI love this list! I will make a note to try and not ask really stupid questions to my pregnant friends.
ReplyDeleteYes to all, especially the stinky eye for the third cookie. But hey, growing a human is HARD. :)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the rest of your pregnancy. He/She will so be worth it! :)
Haha, yes! Agreed that you want all your friends to go through this with you. Sounds like you have a great perspective on everything. I wish I enjoyed being pregnant a little more...maybe next time ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking I'll go with the "ignorance is bliss" thought too when it comes to labor & delivery! Besides, everyone's is different so why freak yourself out!? Love all of this though!! I have friends that have already tried convincing us too! HAHA!
ReplyDeleteDef enjoy the journey! Can't wait to meet the little one!
ReplyDeleteI am taking the ignorance route on a lot of things! I haven't read past the first trimester of 'what to expecting,' which I read my app religiously and feel that is enough. I don't want to know what's gonna happen to me anymore haha! and yes people just stare at your stomach. I'm actually showing now and its funny to watch people stare. and you are brave for going to babys r us already!! I sincerely don't know why I've been so laid back about stuff like that but I haven't started any of that! I'm this weird calm girl now. (previously a neurotic type)! love the posts!
ReplyDeleteYou'll be thankful you got that doppler throughout your whole pregnancy. It was a good purchase.
ReplyDeleteI'm loving all of these "real" pregnancy posts...keep em' coming! They're super helpful for that day when my husband and I finally decide to try to have a baby. :)
ReplyDeletethe one thing that made me crazy was all the unsolicited advice i got "are you going to breastfeed?" "are you going to have a natural birth?" "are you going to cloth diaper?" STFU! i just found out i'm pregnant and trying to get a grip on that, so leave me alone!!
ReplyDeleteso take what you hear with a grain of salt :)
-kathy | Vodka and Soda
I went into labor blind and I was so glad I did!! I will spare details but ignorance is PURE bliss when it comes to this!
ReplyDeleteLove this! I have a feeling Im going to enjoy reading about your pregnancy because you are so honest and real. I wonder how Ms. Oakley will handle being a big sister?
ReplyDeleteLove this list!! Just you wait - the questions will only get more annoying!! Be ready for the "when are you going to have #2"!
ReplyDeleteYou are spot on with this post! I have 3 kids and could relate to all of these during my pregnancy especially naps being your Best Friend!!!! Enjoy them while you can, unless you get lucky and get a good sleeper, naps in the future will be a thing of the past!
ReplyDeleteI totally bought the fetal Doppler and literally used it every day. I say go for it!
ReplyDeleteI know I'm guilty of wanting to know if others were "Trying" or not. I like to know how long it does or doesn't take others...good to have others to talk to about things in terms of how long it took and such...We are at a year of trying...nothing yet!
ReplyDeletePretty soon you will know BRU as well as you know Target...I promise :)
ReplyDeletePeople are horrible at keeping secrets.. and when you are avoiding people there rumors started spreading! And I want that doppler thing!
ReplyDeleteHahaha, these made me laugh especially because EVERY SINGLE ONE is so true!!
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